Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The "Key" to Marriage

"Hey Honey, what is the 'Key' to our marriage?" Husband, "WhisKEY"!

OK, so I'm a bit cynical about marriage, I know. Mainly due to the fact that I don't know many people who are happily married. Married, yes, but
happily is the operative word. I do however, know MANY people who are divorced.

WHOA - hold on - don't confuse me with someone who doesn't believe in love or even soul mates. I do. Passionately. I even know a few who I believe are soul mates. And no, I didn't grow up in a loveless household. I was fortunate that even though my parents divorced, they were best friends and always loved each other. I saw nothing but admiration between the two of them.

Truth be told, I'm a hopeless romantic who believes in the stuff movies are made of. Honestly, I guess I've just never been that girl who dreamed of her wedding, the dress or anything....wait, once I did dream of a buffet I saw at a wedding, does that count?

Regardless of my stained-glass view of love and broken-glass view of marriage, I'm fascinated by people who are married and claim to be happy. I'm not all skeptic, I'm curious and hopeful! In fact, I often find myself interviewing couples about how they've made it so long together. Adding to my doubts, often a few years after I've asked them, they divorce. Reasons often stating..."he wasn't who I thought he was", "we grew apart", "I'm not physically attracted to him/her anymore", and the obvious and disgusting reason, infidelity.

Is there hope for a loving monogamous partnership in today's world? Bob thinks so. The other weekend I went to a fundraiser at the Pfister and had a great conversation with Bob and his wife who were celebrating their 40th anniversary. As we Cheer's and toasted, Bob says the reason he believes they've stayed together is because their faith aligned and they lived out that faith together in their lives as a couple. It was obvious there was a deep mutual respect for each other and they have a great sense of humor.

Husband asks his wife, "Sweets, what do you like most about me -my hansome face or my muscular body?" She looked at him from head to toe and replied, "Your sense of Humor."

Bob and his wive "G", were in their 60's - is a committed marriage that lasts for a lifetime a thing of past? In our instant gratification society are people too concerned with their own wants to consider a lifetime of "we"?

I ask you:
What keeps you married? How have you made it as long as you have? Why aren't most marriages lasting these days? Is love a FEELING or a CHOICE? I'd love to know your thoughts...whether you're single, married, or divorced.

No comments: