Thursday, May 5, 2011

Living 101

I walk to the refridgerator and drink from the carton, sit down on the couch, press a button to turn on Access Hollywood and as the antennae goes in and out creating a partial picture I stare mindlessly...petting my needy cat, Blue. DON'T WAKE ME UP....I'm sleepwaking.

SleepWAKING? After all my blogs on conscious living and propelling myself into moments of Nowness?? THE SHAME! I'm guilty....and yes, I made that word up.

Tiff-tionary meaning of "SleepWAKING": Being awake, yet walking around without mindfully living.

I blame it on the fact I haven't had consistent sleep in nearly a year and a half (due again to my needy "I'm going to start meowing at 3am" ass of a cat). Each day I start to feel a bit more like maybe I AM actually sleeping and my days could be the hallucinations. Suddenly I remember my uncle is narcoleptic and wonder if I am? I realize, one of the things I was voted in high school was "always sleeps in class", and I wonder if my genetic clock is a giant snooze button? I learn today my boyfriend has mono ...and wonder if I gave it to HIM?

Everyone is quick to offer solutions, including, get rid of the cat, to which I reply;
"I'll get rid of you" - Or- "Your mom should get rid of you", that's always a classy response too.

What I've realized lately is a few things:
1)New mothers are superheroes: they never sleep and yet they don't actually get rid of their children.
2)You have to keep waking up and living even when you don't want to get out of bed.
3) Life isn't a's a test.

I'm a good test taker you say? Me too, I rarely had to study to get A's, but sleepwaking, that's definitely getting an "F" in Living 101!

I thought about all this today because my friend's mother passed away...a punch in the gut from life and I cried for his loss. Two days ago I posted, "death, teaches us how to live", and today I was tested to think about what my own words really meant again.

I'm reminded, we don't know how much time we're given on this earth. We don't know how much time we have with our loved ones. Life is a constant test of character, strength, mindfulness, trust, faith, humor and resilience. No wonder we don't make it out alive. But if we live it right..we get life ever after.

The goal, however, is to ace the test and live out loud while we can. Leave an exclamation point behind our name, be a good student to what life has to teach us, and be good to one another.

My dad said to me once, "You can't get to home, without hitting all the bases."

So no matter how tired, beat up, sad, stressed, unmotivated or apathetic you feel -WAKE UP each day and run the bases. Don't be impatient, live in the Now. Each day embrace and accomplish something, even if that something is simply telling someone how much they mean to you because you never know when we will finish this test and graduate to Home Base.

Wednesday, May 4, 2011

The Greatness Within

If we're honest we'll admit we're all vulnerable with insecurities, have moments of self-doubt, and feelings of worry about not living out our purpose in life. It's who we decide to become in the face of those fears that proves our character. To quote one of my favorite poems, "Our Greatest Fear";

"Your playing small does not serve the world...As we are liberated from our own fear our presence automatically liberates others." -Marianne Williamson

This is a performance poem I wrote and shared at the "Inside Out" Gala poetry jam here in Milwaukee supporting Normal in Schools, a non-profit which focuses on self-esteem and body issues for youth.

It's raw and it's from the heart. I share it with the hope that it empowers someone to live in their Light.

"Greatness Within"

How many no's can one person take

Before they feel their path forsake?
A body that lies and deceives what’s within
Oh God why can’t you make me thin?

“I’m not ready!”, I cry out loud
Why am I scared instead of proud?
Dreams drip through my hourglass fingers
Time stands still, self-doubt lingers

“I’m not ready!” I cry…to face the world
Dying inside, in a ball I’m curled.
Insecurities claw at my lifeless self worth
my dreams made of sand re-absorbed by the earth.

“Silence..”, yelled Death, “Don’t bury yourself crying”
“You could be living out loud instead of silently dying.”

“I’m fat, I’m no good, I’m a no-name”, I protest.
“Look at me Death – I’m pathetic, at best.”

“You’re my child”, said Death, “You’ll do as I say”

I got down on my knees and started to pray,
“Dear God, What’s my purpose? I’m so lost and unsure..
I’ve disrespected my body, your will is a blur.”

I have talent, but no voice, a message with no receiver,
Please God, I ask you, make me a believer.
In your plan, in your wisdom, each day I grow older
carry me on Hope, don’t give me the cold shoulder.

I WILL stop beating myself up with negativity and doubt…
“I AM READY!” with resilience, I stand and shout.
We all have a voice, and beauty comes in all sizes
Be healthy, not hurtful, look at your neighbor, she realizes

“You have Greatness Within!” I yell at a girl in the crowd…
So do you all, just believe…you have a purpose. Now Get Loud!

“I have Greatness Within Me”, You’re all silent, come on?!

“I have Greatness Within Me”, Shout it out, play along…

Over there – a young girl – oh a mom – a man!
I have Greatness Within me, we All have a plan
You see when our fingers are unlocked they’re like slivers
Join together, Lock em’ might just get shivers.

Be the change, Live out Loud, Tell Death, “Get a Life!”
Ironic? I think not. Let’s end this defeatist strife.
Fear will always lurk in that darkness out of sight
but the Shadow says;
“Don’t be scared, I remain in your footsteps so YOU can stand in the light.”

(Shadow) “Go Ahead, don’t hold back, dream as big as you choose”
I was once a girl from a town of 600 who was poor and bruised.

It doesn’t matter where you start
your roots make you strong
I knew I had Greatness Within me, now its time to sing YOUR song.

Persistence beats Resistance, a crown doesn’t make a queen.
It’s embracing your purpose and giving back, that’s ‘Livin’ the Dream’.

So Shout it out, With all you’ve got, Claim your Destiny!
(All) “I have Greatness What?”
That’s right you do…

(Shadow) And I have Greatness

(Me) Within me.

By: Tiffany Ogle