Monday, November 22, 2010

Miss Packaged

At the airport the other day I recognized that fast food menus are now required to have the calorie and fat count of what you’re eating. YIKES - I didn't want to know that! I like my gluttonous double cheeseburger meal and fries now and then, who wants to know all the crap that you’re about to plug your arteries with?

So I thought about it... I guess it did make me think twice and I was finally able to make an educated decision. Note, I said "educated", not "intelligent". I still ate it. At least you know up front that eating it is unhealthy – you get to make the choice. That made me wonder? What if people had to Package themselves?

OH what fun! Think about it -wouldn’t it be easier if you could walk up to someone, turn them on their side and read…"Contains 23lbs of fat, SoDiumb can’t hold a conversation, bad baggage, not heart healthy”?!

SO MUCH EASIER…right? Finding out the old fashioned way is kind of bull – you can fall head over heels for someone only to find out you (or they) loved the “Packaging”, but not necessarily the Contents. Kind of like cereal toys..looked really cool on the outside but once you got to play with what was really on the inside, it was a disappointment.

The problem is we’re probably too biased to package ourselves correctly. Maybe you want to believe you’re the nicest, sun-shiniest person you’ll ever meet --when really you’re controlling and overly combative. You mislabeled yourself so we had no clue when we put you under a little heat you’d combust. The label should have read, “keep cool at all times”.

I admit I'm probably, "Miss Packaged" - I strongly believe I'm a gourmet Italian flat bread when really I'm just a Totinos party pizza. Mis-Packaged! It might not be on purpose, or perhaps we’re just worried no one will try us if they know we’re just a party pizza (even though they are the BEST).

This happens in relationships ALL the time. Therefore, I highly suggest, whether you’re married or not, to
try this exercise…create your label accurately and show your loved one. Forget the pretty packaging, the advertising for yourself, marketing your best qualities..let’s instead go for Customer Satisfaction and get straight to the point. Try Including a recipe on back so we know exactly how you are at your best…if we follow those directions both partners can be be “well prepared”.

So in case you’re wondering, here’s MY Label:

Tiffany Ogle
Serving Size: Probably more than you can handle

Total Fat: 35%
Sugar: Super Sweet
Tasty Ingredients: Filled with love, concentrated career, all natural, partially hydrogoFlirt, organic sense of humor, starch double standards, white flour, soy independent, Rye – t all the time, un-evaporated guy friends, whole grain romantic, unmodified morals.

Allergens: Caution, if you’re sensitive know that this product contains some nuts.

Now go forth and don’t be afraid of labeling yourself!