"Hey Honey, what is the 'Key' to our marriage?" Husband, "WhisKEY"!
OK, so I'm a bit cynical about marriage, I know. Mainly due to the fact that I don't know many people who are happily married. Married, yes, but happily is the operative word. I do however, know MANY people who are divorced.
WHOA - hold on - don't confuse me with someone who doesn't believe in love or even soul mates. I do. Passionately. I even know a few who I believe are soul mates. And no, I didn't grow up in a loveless household. I was fortunate that even though my parents divorced, they were best friends and always loved each other. I saw nothing but admiration between the two of them.
Truth be told, I'm a hopeless romantic who believes in the stuff movies are made of. Honestly, I guess I've just never been that girl who dreamed of her wedding, the dress or anything....wait, once I did dream of a buffet I saw at a wedding, does that count?
Regardless of my stained-glass view of love and broken-glass view of marriage, I'm fascinated by people who are married and claim to be happy. I'm not all skeptic, I'm curious and hopeful! In fact, I often find myself interviewing couples about how they've made it so long together. Adding to my doubts, often a few years after I've asked them, they divorce. Reasons often stating..."he wasn't who I thought he was", "we grew apart", "I'm not physically attracted to him/her anymore", and the obvious and disgusting reason, infidelity.
Is there hope for a loving monogamous partnership in today's world? Bob thinks so. The other weekend I went to a fundraiser at the Pfister and had a great conversation with Bob and his wife who were celebrating their 40th anniversary. As we Cheer's and toasted, Bob says the reason he believes they've stayed together is because their faith aligned and they lived out that faith together in their lives as a couple. It was obvious there was a deep mutual respect for each other and they have a great sense of humor.
Husband asks his wife, "Sweets, what do you like most about me -my hansome face or my muscular body?" She looked at him from head to toe and replied, "Your sense of Humor."
Bob and his wive "G", were in their 60's - is a committed marriage that lasts for a lifetime a thing of past? In our instant gratification society are people too concerned with their own wants to consider a lifetime of "we"?
I ask you: What keeps you married? How have you made it as long as you have? Why aren't most marriages lasting these days? Is love a FEELING or a CHOICE? I'd love to know your thoughts...whether you're single, married, or divorced.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
"Hey Honey, what is the 'Key' to our marriage?" Husband, "WhisKEY"!
Thursday, May 13, 2010
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won't feel insecure around you.
Wednesday, May 5, 2010
Monday we had the Hearing Loss Association of America on the show and this weekend is also Mother’s Day, so it got me thinking about my mom, Mama O’.
My mother wears two hearing aids, she has since she was 18. I've often talked about how her hearing loss has shaped our mother-daughter relationship on the show. The title of this blog illustrates a funny exchange I’m sure I've had with my mom at some point. All my life, I've been my mom’s ears in public situations to avoid these mishaps, but every once in a while, she just makes me laugh.
My mother has the best sense of humor through it all…if you ever joke about her hearing she (without missing a beat) pulls out the ol' “What?”, beating you to the punch line. In fact, my father used to joke that her hearing loss was the reason they had three kids in the first place. My dad would say, “Wanna go to bed or what?” (wink wink) …and my mother would reply, “What?”. Hence the three of us….
"I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but its state of the art. It's perfect." "Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?" "Twelve thirty."
I've seen first-hand how people speak slower to someone who can’t hear because they assume they lack intelligence when really they just can’t hear you! In many cases, if my mom doesn't hear someone speak to her (especially if she cannot see them) they think she’s being rude by not responding and get upset. Don’t even get me started about how angry I am that hearing aids aren't covered by insurance!! These are all reasons education and funding is needed. Diedre Downs, who won Miss America my year, wore a hearing aid and never told anyone. She felt it could hinder her chances of winning if the judges knew and unfairly thought she couldn't “perform” the job. She later began speaking on behalf of hearing foundations, but during our competition, it was a secret she only shared with a few of us due to the stigma’s hearing loss holds.
Watching my mother’s daily struggles has taught me a lot and helped to create the close-knit bond we share. Even though humor is how we deal with my mom’s hearing loss, I’ll say in a moment of all honesty, it’s not easy for her. And I’d be lying if I said I never get frustrated.
Tolerance, education, and a lot of repeating yourself a little bit louder come with living with someone who has hearing problems. I said..REPEATING YOURSELF A LITTLE LOUDER WORKS!
Remember to count your blessings this Mother’s Day. I count Mama O’, as one of my biggest blessings in life. Mom- I figured I should write this next sentence. If I just said it to you over the phone this Mothers day instead of hearing, “Mom, the biggest compliment I've ever received is when people say I remind them of you." You’ll probably ask me, “What? I remind you of glue?”
NO MOM…simply put, all I am, I owe to you. You are my hero. I love you. Happy Mother’s Day. I SAID…HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!
Tuesday, May 4, 2010
"What full time staff member would you hire if you won a million dollars a Chef, Nanny, or Housekeeper."
Me - well, first and foremost, I would create a money pit....and then swim in it -Daily -and laugh obnoxiously with a martini in hand.
Second, to answer the question, I would hire a Chef. We'd all be a size 4 if only someone else made us responsible for what we put in our mouth, right? Yeah, I'll keep dreaming --- unfortunately, I often dream of the memorizing smell of deep fry, I can't resist! I'm guilty of adoring all foods bad; cheese, french fries, pizza, buffalo wings, and sauces...OH SAUCES - don't get me started on
dipping! I choose what I eat most often based on what condiment I'm craving.
So what if I eat ranch by the glass? ....Don't Eating is entertaining to me, not just a way to fuel my body. Since I was little, meals have been bonding time I shared with my mom where our favorite thing to do has been to go to a restaurant for brunch, and stay til dinner. To a fault, I'm a complete buffet girl too - I love to taste appetizers and combos of flavors and textures. I can't just eat my meal, I taste everyone else's too. People who know me, know when my mom and I get together we disappear into a time warp when we enter a restaurant or cook a meal. Therefore, if I had a chef I could control myself I swear! Chef's can trick you into eating healthier and it tastes good.
I'm guessing this choice was a 100% obvious - I don't have kids so the nanny was out, and I enjoy cleaning. When my home is dust-free so is my brain. Don't get me wrong, I'll hire someone to clean the toilet - and the floors - but dusting and organizing I actually enjoy.
All this food talk is making me HUNGRY! So... Who would you hire?