"29, is Just Peachy"

I've blogged many times before about my dad, Fuzzy. He passed away when I was in my senior year of college. Today, April 29th would have been his "29th" birthday.

Over the years, I've toasted to, cried over, laughed at and cherished memories of the "Big O'" (another of his many nicknames).

Those who knew my dad will tell you endless stories gathered over years of sharing Hamm's Beers, Memorial Day, St. Patricks Day, and good ol' days in Waverly and Hopkins. My father was hilarious, everyone loved him, he was the last to leave a good party and the party wasn't good until he arrived, he gave nicknames to everyone he knew, toasted often, invented the "Kittock Protector", and was a true entertainer and lover of people (and Penguins!). Everything was always "Just Peachy" with my dad.

Today, I just wanted to send out a tribute to everyone who has lost someone they care about. There is nothing easy about death. There is nothing anyone can ever say to you when you lose someone, because each situation is different and no one truly "understands". However, love is universal...and we all know what that feels like. And even though losing someone doesn't ever get easier...death, teaches us how to live.

Happy Birthday Dad -God Bless and "Slainte!" (Cheers)

Please leave a note who you'd like to Cheers to today.

In Memory of our recent family losses: Harold James Jr. Ogle, Addie Bezdicek, Stan Kittock, Helen Campbell.

Hey there, what's your sign?

ADMISSION: I'm one of those horoscope nerds. I actually own a book called "The only Astrology book you'll ever need"..and it's glorious. Embarrassing, but true.

The other day on the show Molly and I chatted about holding onto old grudges and how it's not good for you to do it. In fact, if you let go of things, not only does it make you more likable, but it also frees you emotionally. Great...but that's totally not me.

I'm someone who is obsessed with fairness. Even when I was little my mom said it was a constant moral dilemma of mine upsetting me to the core when something wasn't fair for someone. Maybe this stemmed from growing up with all guys and always having to fight for my share. Example: when we would make pizza or mac-n-cheese, I would make it, divide it then they could choose which portion. That was FAIR...if you divide it up AND pick, that's not fair because the boys were notorious for taking more food leaving me hungry!

So- back to my point....as a Scorpio one of the personality traits that is apparently so endearing about my scornful self, is that if someone "crosses" me, I either punish them repeatedly or I let THEM go instead of letting the issue go. So the horoscope goes...

Truthfully, I am a bit like that, and I'm kind of proud of it. I absolutely am a forgiving person as well, but I never forget. There is a big difference. I've prided myself on weeding out the people in life who aren't good friends. The men or women who aren't there to support or build you as a person, I don't think are worth spending your time with. If someone I care about hurts me, I'm someone who takes it extremely personal and is very affected by it...but I will generally not give them the same opportunity twice. I do however note if it was intentional, we've all accidentally hurt someone without knowing it, no one is perfect.

Well, up this alley, today we talked about toxic friends...women mainly because our guest Polly Drew gave us this not so surprising statistic:

84% of women say they've suffered palpable emotion wounding at the hands of other women.

I'm actually not surprised are you? I mean we all went through school as teens and whether you're popular or not, kids aren't always kind. As we get older, the problem is that some people don't grow out of those habits of harmful toxic friend behavior.

Personally, I'm really proud of the fact that I don't have many women like that in my life, if any. Mainly by choice and consciously keeping those people at a distance, or making sure I don't share anything personal with them.

So it begs the question: Why are women so bad to other women?

I personally have a HUGE moral issue with this and it sincerely angers me!! Ladies, we could rule the world if we didn't keep each other down! There's no need in life to back stab, undermine, be negatively jealous or envious, cheat with another women's man, or talk behind someones back. Those are NOT the kind of women I have in my life, and I am honestly extremely thankful for that. Every situation is different, and I'm not as judgemental as I might sound...I'm definitely not perfect. But I am very aware of toxic people.

Maybe I learned it from my mom...she's a supportive kind woman who is very giving. She's never been competitive with women or gossipy.

And I have to say I LOVE the women in my life, and I don't think competition is bad - I think it helps us all try to perform better. It's when it becomes dark that it's scary.

My girlfriends and I support each others events, talk through weight problems, encourage each other to work hard and idea share, listen about relationships and have cried through death, broken hearts and hardships. I can sincerely say, I've never been negatively jealous of the very successful women in my life, just extremely happy for them and motivated by their accomplishments.

What are your thoughts? Leave me a comment!

I say, take it from a Scorpio - making someone "pay for their mistakes" by not forgetting and keeping them in your life isn't half as fun as simply letting them go and re-surrounding yourself with people you never have to use that spiteful scorpion tail on in the first place.

Tipping the Scales

Life is about balance, wouldn't you agree? We balance our work, play, passions and vices.

We all try to make it look like we have it all figured out, but we don't. None of us do....often times it's prayer and luck that keep your scale from tipping too far to one side and becoming unbalanced.

I like my life scale to be a balance of perfect calculation, possibility and complete uncertainty.

Ah...uncertainty...it keeps life interesting.

Easter Rebirth: Please Pass the Placenta

Try Saying that 10 times fast! Here is an old blog from 2008 I thought would be good to repost on Easter 2011.

Today is Easter and it got me thinking about my spirituality. My friend told me that not too long ago to...."Let go, and Let God".

Many of us have heard it before. As for me, at different points in my life I've either rolled my eyes, or teared up at the notion. I admit I have cursed God and accepted Christ as my savior over many trials in my life. We all falter at times in our behavior and choices. To sin is human. Yet at moments when I thought I didn't believe I always "apologized" to God that I didn't believe. Which told me, I was just angry.

I am a deeply spiritual person - however, fairly privately. My relationship with God is highly emotional and I often tear up in church. That means you won't catch me wearing a WWJD bracelet, waving my arms in the air in service or preaching the word to strangers unless invited into that conversation. However, I admire many who do and really mean it. I've seen many people who simply wear their religion around them like armour only to be some of the most unChristlike people I know. The real believers, regardless of how vocal they are, I give my utmost respect to.

So what about Rebirth? It's an interesting topic....I'm sure our mothers are glad it's only an expression. Today, however, I believe I felt an awakening, if not a "rebirth" of sorts myself. I was in church and, a seat opened. (At the Basilica it was standing room only even in the basement) ....we all wanted it and the gentleman next to me gave it to me instead of taking it himself. He insisted...I sat. How kind!

Later, an elderly woman came in the room. I saw her from afar and offered her my seat. Pay it forward right... Then I had one of those moments. What if we all NOTICED those around us in need? Or even just offered what we had to the person next to us like that gentleman did for me? I wasn't needy.. Just random acts of kindness for our neighbors.

Most people were staring straight forward careful not to notice the lady who was hunched and standing. BE CAREFUL---" don't make eye contact! If I look, I have to do something about it, and I Got Here on Time, so I deserve this seat! " OR perhaps it wasn't even a thought TO look, they were too involved in hearing the word of God to notice.....ironic.

Now, make it clear, I AM NO Mother Theresa...there were tons of people who would've given up their seat, if only they had NOTICED her. Maybe I only noticed because the gentleman was so kind to me? Thank you Mister, you made me conscious.

So I had a moment where I realized (as I blogged about before) that we walk around on auto-pilot. Today I noticed, it even exists in church!

This Easter, now that we've repented our sins, it's time to take a look at ourselves and figure out what we need to work on moving forward. I have a lot to work on personally, one of which is committing today to Rebirth myself into conscious living every day.

Perhaps it's true, that the answers are in silence and observation. When we sit back and become silent and observe in full consciousness, we are aware of those around us and God's Will in our lives.

So, I'm going to Let Go, and Let God. Because, it seems to me that sometimes when I'm concentrating so hard on having my voice heard, I miss the moments to make a real statement.