Tiffany Times

Favorite Things: Hair!

2011-06-13T11:12:00.030-04:00

Often times Molly and I get asked about things and products we like, wear, or use on camera. So I decided to share a few of my favorite things.

Whenever I see another woman wearing something I love or doing her hair or makeup some way that really looks great, I always ask her for advice. So if you HATE the way I do my hair or makeup, you won't like this blog and should head back to facebook. But if you want to see how your products stand up to my favs, here's some for you to try! (I don't endorse any of these products, but if anyone wants to send me lifetime supplies, I won't send them back!)

Hair Type disclaimer: To start, my hair type is stick straight and FLAT! My hair is on the thinner side that tends to look flat and greasy, therefore, I can't use many products or it gets weighed down. I'm the type of person that cannot go more than a day without washing my hair and it looks best ON the day I wash it. So regardless of what experts say...mine does NOT style best the second day.

TIFF's FAVORITE THINGS: HAIR!

SHAMPOO & CONDITIONER:
I use Pureology. It's on the spendier side, but I LOVE it and think it's worth every penny. The one I buy is the purple "Hydrate" LARGE size you see in the back. In the long run you save a LOT of money buying it larger, the small ones don't last very long and are hard to get the end of the product out, so I use a pump that I bought at Ulta to make it more shower friendly.
PERKS: for color treated hair with UVA/UVB sunscreen, NO sulfates, Organic with soy, oat and wheat, Contains rose, peppermint and green tea and it wakes me up with a minty smell and feel when you use it! NOTE: I don't care for any of their other hair products.

VOLUME:
I rarely use products outside of hairspray and shampoo & conditioner, but if I do, I love Bumble and Bumble Curl Conscious foam. I don't use it often because I think products like this need extra salon-style blowdrying to work well & I'm lazy. When I have time, I'll play with it for fun because it smells awesome and really does add great volume at the roots.
NOTE: You don't need curly hair or curls, I use it for volume.

HAIRSPRAY!!!!!!
MY #1 TIP: Kenra Platinum 26 Hairspray.
(Number and Platinum Series Matter!)

Ladies...Size Matters! I meant the volume in your hair... fuller styles make hair look bouncy, flirty, sexy, and more youthful. I've gotten almost EVERYONE I know hooked on Kenra: tv hosts, pageant girls, actors, friends. It smells like cotton candy and holds like a sports bra!
PERK: All those flyaways are gone for good. All the volume you worked for STAYS! All hair types love it!
NOTE: This is not for the weak "I want my hair to toss like a model and fall back into place", hairstyle. This stuff is serious! Lasts all day, adds thickness to limp hair and if desired will give you a total helmet or great looking pageant or TV do.
Don't forget the travel size for carry on!
****I LOVE IT & Swear by it!*****

BRUSHES & COMBS: The only other thing I use is good tools! Most of a Hairstyle in my opinion is in the Blowdry. So I use CHI brand Boar Bristle Round Brush for drying and volume. It seems to help reduce flyaways and broken ends for longer giving a smoother finish and maybe even adding some shine!

This is the comb I like - plastic or Metal on the end. I back-comb every day to get volume, so this one does the trick for me. I've used all the gimicky tools, and the plain comb that has uneven edges works best. I buy mine at ULTA.

If you have a few of your Favorite things for HAIR - or just like this post - Leave a Comment!

Be Your Best Self,

Tiff

Living 101

2011-05-05T23:05:00.001-04:00

I walk to the refridgerator and drink from the carton, sit down on the couch, press a button to turn on Access Hollywood and as the antennae goes in and out creating a partial picture I stare mindlessly...petting my needy cat, Blue. DON'T WAKE ME UP....I'm sleepwaking.

SleepWAKING? After all my blogs on conscious living and propelling myself into moments of Nowness?? THE SHAME! I'm guilty....and yes, I made that word up.

Tiff-tionary meaning of "SleepWAKING": Being awake, yet walking around without mindfully living.

I blame it on the fact I haven't had consistent sleep in nearly a year and a half (due again to my needy "I'm going to start meowing at 3am" ass of a cat). Each day I start to feel a bit more like maybe I AM actually sleeping and my days could be the hallucinations. Suddenly I remember my uncle is narcoleptic and wonder if I am? I realize, one of the things I was voted in high school was "always sleeps in class", and I wonder if my genetic clock is a giant snooze button? I learn today my boyfriend has mono ...and wonder if I gave it to HIM?

Everyone is quick to offer solutions, including, get rid of the cat, to which I reply;

"I'll get rid of you" - Or- "Your mom should get rid of you", that's always a classy response too.

What I've realized lately is a few things:

1)New mothers are superheroes: they never sleep and yet they don't actually get rid of their children.

2)You have to keep waking up and living even when you don't want to get out of bed.

3) Life isn't a journey...it's a test.

I'm a good test taker you say? Me too, I rarely had to study to get A's, but sleepwaking, that's definitely getting an "F" in Living 101!

I thought about all this today because my friend's mother passed away...a punch in the gut from life and I cried for his loss. Two days ago I posted, "death, teaches us how to live", and today I was tested to think about what my own words really meant again.

I'm reminded, we don't know how much time we're given on this earth. We don't know how much time we have with our loved ones. Life is a constant test of character, strength, mindfulness, trust, faith, humor and resilience. No wonder we don't make it out alive. But if we live it right..we get life ever after.

The goal, however, is to ace the test and live out loud while we can. Leave an exclamation point behind our name, be a good student to what life has to teach us, and be good to one another.

My dad said to me once, "You can't get to home, without hitting all the bases."

So no matter how tired, beat up, sad, stressed, unmotivated or apathetic you feel -WAKE UP each day and run the bases. Don't be impatient, live in the Now. Each day embrace and accomplish something, even if that something is simply telling someone how much they mean to you because you never know when we will finish this test and graduate to Home Base.

The Greatness Within

2011-05-04T20:33:00.000-04:00

If we're honest we'll admit we're all vulnerable with insecurities, have moments of self-doubt, and feelings of worry about not living out our purpose in life. It's who we decide to become in the face of those fears that proves our character. To quote one of my favorite poems, "Our Greatest Fear";

"Your playing small does not serve the world...As we are liberated from our own fear our presence automatically liberates others." -Marianne Williamson

This is a performance poem I wrote and shared at the "Inside Out" Gala poetry jam here in Milwaukee supporting Normal in Schools, a non-profit which focuses on self-esteem and body issues for youth.

It's raw and it's from the heart. I share it with the hope that it empowers someone to live in their Light.

"Greatness Within"

How many no's can one person take

Before they feel their path forsake?
A body that lies and deceives what’s within
Oh God why can’t you make me thin?

“I’m not ready!”, I cry out loud
Why am I scared instead of proud?
Dreams drip through my hourglass fingers
Time stands still, self-doubt lingers

“I’m not ready!” I cry…to face the world
Dying inside, in a ball I’m curled.
Insecurities claw at my lifeless self worth
my dreams made of sand re-absorbed by the earth.

“Silence..”, yelled Death, “Don’t bury yourself crying”
“You could be living out loud instead of silently dying.”

“I’m fat, I’m no good, I’m a no-name”, I protest.
“Look at me Death – I’m pathetic, at best.”

“You’re my child”, said Death, “You’ll do as I say”

I got down on my knees and started to pray,
“Dear God, What’s my purpose? I’m so lost and unsure..
I’ve disrespected my body, your will is a blur.”

I have talent, but no voice, a message with no receiver,
Please God, I ask you, make me a believer.
In your plan, in your wisdom, each day I grow older
carry me on Hope, don’t give me the cold shoulder.

I WILL stop beating myself up with negativity and doubt…
“I AM READY!” with resilience, I stand and shout.
We all have a voice, and beauty comes in all sizes
Be healthy, not hurtful, look at your neighbor, she realizes

“You have Greatness Within!” I yell at a girl in the crowd…
So do you all, just believe…you have a purpose. Now Get Loud!

“I have Greatness Within Me”, You’re all silent, come on?!

“I have Greatness Within Me”, Shout it out, play along…

Over there – a young girl – oh a mom – a man!
I have Greatness Within me, we All have a plan
You see when our fingers are unlocked they’re like slivers
Join together, Lock em’ tight..you might just get shivers.

Be the change, Live out Loud, Tell Death, “Get a Life!”
Ironic? I think not. Let’s end this defeatist strife.
Fear will always lurk in that darkness out of sight
but the Shadow says;
“Don’t be scared, I remain in your footsteps so YOU can stand in the light.”

(Shadow) “Go Ahead, don’t hold back, dream as big as you choose”
I was once a girl from a town of 600 who was poor and bruised.

It doesn’t matter where you start
your roots make you strong
I knew I had Greatness Within me, now its time to sing YOUR song.

Persistence beats Resistance, a crown doesn’t make a queen.
It’s embracing your purpose and giving back, that’s ‘Livin’ the Dream’.

So Shout it out, With all you’ve got, Claim your Destiny!
(All) “I have Greatness What?”
That’s right you do…

(Shadow) And I have Greatness

(Me) Within me.

By: Tiffany Ogle

Cartoon Brain

2011-05-03T11:41:00.016-04:00

I've often said I see life as a series of Cartoons...so here are a few to make you smile today!

"29, is Just Peachy"

2011-04-29T14:27:00.006-04:00

I've blogged many times before about my dad, Fuzzy. He passed away when I was in my senior year of college. Today, April 29th would have been his "29th" birthday.

Over the years, I've toasted to, cried over, laughed at and cherished memories of the "Big O'" (another of his many nicknames).

Those who knew my dad will tell you endless stories gathered over years of sharing Hamm's Beers, Memorial Day, St. Patricks Day, and good ol' days in Waverly and Hopkins. My father was hilarious, everyone loved him, he was the last to leave a good party and the party wasn't good until he arrived, he gave nicknames to everyone he knew, toasted often, invented the "Kittock Protector", and was a true entertainer and lover of people (and Penguins!). Everything was always "Just Peachy" with my dad.

Today, I just wanted to send out a tribute to everyone who has lost someone they care about. There is nothing easy about death. There is nothing anyone can ever say to you when you lose someone, because each situation is different and no one truly "understands". However, love is universal...and we all know what that feels like. And even though losing someone doesn't ever get easier...death, teaches us how to live.

Happy Birthday Dad -God Bless and "Slainte!" (Cheers)

Please leave a note who you'd like to Cheers to today.

In Memory of our recent family losses: Harold James Jr. Ogle, Addie Bezdicek, Stan Kittock, Helen Campbell.

Hey there, what's your sign?

2011-04-27T14:08:00.010-04:00

ADMISSION: I'm one of those horoscope nerds. I actually own a book called "The only Astrology book you'll ever need"..and it's glorious. Embarrassing, but true.

The other day on the show Molly and I chatted about holding onto old grudges and how it's not good for you to do it. In fact, if you let go of things, not only does it make you more likable, but it also frees you emotionally. Great...but that's totally not me.

I'm someone who is obsessed with fairness. Even when I was little my mom said it was a constant moral dilemma of mine upsetting me to the core when something wasn't fair for someone. Maybe this stemmed from growing up with all guys and always having to fight for my share. Example: when we would make pizza or mac-n-cheese, I would make it, divide it then they could choose which portion. That was FAIR...if you divide it up AND pick, that's not fair because the boys were notorious for taking more food leaving me hungry!

So- back to my point....as a Scorpio one of the personality traits that is apparently so endearing about my scornful self, is that if someone "crosses" me, I either punish them repeatedly or I let THEM go instead of letting the issue go. So the horoscope goes...

Truthfully, I am a bit like that, and I'm kind of proud of it. I absolutely am a forgiving person as well, but I never forget. There is a big difference. I've prided myself on weeding out the people in life who aren't good friends. The men or women who aren't there to support or build you as a person, I don't think are worth spending your time with. If someone I care about hurts me, I'm someone who takes it extremely personal and is very affected by it...but I will generally not give them the same opportunity twice. I do however note if it was intentional, we've all accidentally hurt someone without knowing it, no one is perfect.

Well, up this alley, today we talked about toxic friends...women mainly because our guest Polly Drew gave us this not so surprising statistic:

84% of women say they've suffered palpable emotion wounding at the hands of other women.

I'm actually not surprised are you? I mean we all went through school as teens and whether you're popular or not, kids aren't always kind. As we get older, the problem is that some people don't grow out of those habits of harmful toxic friend behavior.

Personally, I'm really proud of the fact that I don't have many women like that in my life, if any. Mainly by choice and consciously keeping those people at a distance, or making sure I don't share anything personal with them.

So it begs the question: Why are women so bad to other women?

I personally have a HUGE moral issue with this and it sincerely angers me!! Ladies, we could rule the world if we didn't keep each other down! There's no need in life to back stab, undermine, be negatively jealous or envious, cheat with another women's man, or talk behind someones back. Those are NOT the kind of women I have in my life, and I am honestly extremely thankful for that. Every situation is different, and I'm not as judgemental as I might sound...I'm definitely not perfect. But I am very aware of toxic people.

Maybe I learned it from my mom...she's a supportive kind woman who is very giving. She's never been competitive with women or gossipy.

And I have to say I LOVE the women in my life, and I don't think competition is bad - I think it helps us all try to perform better. It's when it becomes dark that it's scary.

My girlfriends and I support each others events, talk through weight problems, encourage each other to work hard and idea share, listen about relationships and have cried through death, broken hearts and hardships. I can sincerely say, I've never been negatively jealous of the very successful women in my life, just extremely happy for them and motivated by their accomplishments.

What are your thoughts? Leave me a comment!

I say, take it from a Scorpio - making someone "pay for their mistakes" by not forgetting and keeping them in your life isn't half as fun as simply letting them go and re-surrounding yourself with people you never have to use that spiteful scorpion tail on in the first place.

Tipping the Scales

2011-04-24T20:45:00.000-04:00

Life is about balance, wouldn't you agree? We balance our work, play, passions and vices.

We all try to make it look like we have it all figured out, but we don't. None of us do....often times it's prayer and luck that keep your scale from tipping too far to one side and becoming unbalanced.

I like my life scale to be a balance of perfect calculation, possibility and complete uncertainty.

Ah...uncertainty...it keeps life interesting.

Easter Rebirth: Please Pass the Placenta

2011-04-24T20:43:00.000-04:00

Try Saying that 10 times fast! Here is an old blog from 2008 I thought would be good to repost on Easter 2011.

Today is Easter and it got me thinking about my spirituality. My friend told me that not too long ago to...."Let go, and Let God".

Many of us have heard it before. As for me, at different points in my life I've either rolled my eyes, or teared up at the notion. I admit I have cursed God and accepted Christ as my savior over many trials in my life. We all falter at times in our behavior and choices. To sin is human. Yet at moments when I thought I didn't believe I always "apologized" to God that I didn't believe. Which told me, I was just angry.

I am a deeply spiritual person - however, fairly privately. My relationship with God is highly emotional and I often tear up in church. That means you won't catch me wearing a WWJD bracelet, waving my arms in the air in service or preaching the word to strangers unless invited into that conversation. However, I admire many who do and really mean it. I've seen many people who simply wear their religion around them like armour only to be some of the most unChristlike people I know. The real believers, regardless of how vocal they are, I give my utmost respect to.

So what about Rebirth? It's an interesting topic....I'm sure our mothers are glad it's only an expression. Today, however, I believe I felt an awakening, if not a "rebirth" of sorts myself. I was in church and, a seat opened. (At the Basilica it was standing room only even in the basement) ....we all wanted it and the gentleman next to me gave it to me instead of taking it himself. He insisted...I sat. How kind!

Later, an elderly woman came in the room. I saw her from afar and offered her my seat. Pay it forward right... Then I had one of those moments. What if we all NOTICED those around us in need? Or even just offered what we had to the person next to us like that gentleman did for me? I wasn't needy.. Just random acts of kindness for our neighbors.

Most people were staring straight forward careful not to notice the lady who was hunched and standing. BE CAREFUL---" don't make eye contact! If I look, I have to do something about it, and I Got Here on Time, so I deserve this seat! " OR perhaps it wasn't even a thought TO look, they were too involved in hearing the word of God to notice.....ironic.

Now, make it clear, I AM NO Mother Theresa...there were tons of people who would've given up their seat, if only they had NOTICED her. Maybe I only noticed because the gentleman was so kind to me? Thank you Mister, you made me conscious.

So I had a moment where I realized (as I blogged about before) that we walk around on auto-pilot. Today I noticed, it even exists in church!

This Easter, now that we've repented our sins, it's time to take a look at ourselves and figure out what we need to work on moving forward. I have a lot to work on personally, one of which is committing today to Rebirth myself into conscious living every day.

Perhaps it's true, that the answers are in silence and observation. When we sit back and become silent and observe in full consciousness, we are aware of those around us and God's Will in our lives.

So, I'm going to Let Go, and Let God. Because, it seems to me that sometimes when I'm concentrating so hard on having my voice heard, I miss the moments to make a real statement.

Miss Packaged

2010-11-22T13:00:00.000-05:00

At the airport the other day I recognized that fast food menus are now required to have the calorie and fat count of what you’re eating. YIKES - I didn't want to know that! I like my gluttonous double cheeseburger meal and fries now and then, who wants to know all the crap that you’re about to plug your arteries with?

So I thought about it... I guess it did make me think twice and I was finally able to make an educated decision. Note, I said "educated", not "intelligent". I still ate it. At least you know up front that eating it is unhealthy – you get to make the choice. That made me wonder? What if people had to Package themselves?

OH what fun! Think about it -wouldn’t it be easier if you could walk up to someone, turn them on their side and read…"Contains 23lbs of fat, SoDiumb can’t hold a conversation, bad baggage, not heart healthy”?!

SO MUCH EASIER…right? Finding out the old fashioned way is kind of bull – you can fall head over heels for someone only to find out you (or they) loved the “Packaging”, but not necessarily the Contents. Kind of like cereal toys..looked really cool on the outside but once you got to play with what was really on the inside, it was a disappointment.

The problem is we’re probably too biased to package ourselves correctly. Maybe you want to believe you’re the nicest, sun-shiniest person you’ll ever meet --when really you’re controlling and overly combative. You mislabeled yourself so we had no clue when we put you under a little heat you’d combust. The label should have read, “keep cool at all times”.

I admit I'm probably, "Miss Packaged" - I strongly believe I'm a gourmet Italian flat bread when really I'm just a Totinos party pizza. Mis-Packaged! It might not be on purpose, or perhaps we’re just worried no one will try us if they know we’re just a party pizza (even though they are the BEST).

This happens in relationships ALL the time. Therefore, I highly suggest, whether you’re married or not, to try this exercise…create your label accurately and show your loved one. Forget the pretty packaging, the advertising for yourself, marketing your best qualities..let’s instead go for Customer Satisfaction and get straight to the point. Try Including a recipe on back so we know exactly how you are at your best…if we follow those directions both partners can be be “well prepared”.

So in case you’re wondering, here’s MY Label:

Tiffany Ogle
Serving Size: Probably more than you can handle

Total Fat: 35%
Sugar: Super Sweet
Tasty Ingredients: Filled with love, concentrated career, all natural, partially hydrogoFlirt, organic sense of humor, starch double standards, white flour, soy independent, Rye – t all the time, un-evaporated guy friends, whole grain romantic, unmodified morals.

Allergens: Caution, if you’re sensitive know that this product contains some nuts.

Now go forth and don’t be afraid of labeling yourself!

The Evolution of Self

2010-10-25T19:33:00.001-04:00

Today we talked about Reinventing yourself on The Blend as well as the 'Midlife Woman' - who's supposedly no longer in crisis, just in a period of reinvention.

We had 3 very different approaches to reinvention from 3 very deep and self-aware authors. The first one Barbara Singer, talked about how she was forced into reinvention after a series of tragedies per say and thus wrote a do-it-yourself guide to "Eat, Pray, Love". Carole Barrowman - believes, she's constantly evolving and learning, so reinvention has never been an issue because she's never been stagnant. She surrounds herself as a teacher with inspiring people who are seeking to reinvent themselves through literature at Alverno. And Bob Pothier, after losing a job when his company was acquired spent a month in an Ashram learning about reinvention while his family supported the idea of his journey at home. From that, he created The Hapacus Project.

Here are the videos from today: Part 1, Part 2.

Three stories, three impressive people. However, you don't have to be impressive to reinvent. Me personally, I've refocused many times in my life, however, "reinvention" has not occurred. These moments in life, have made me evolve...

-Growing up in a small town, single parent family with low income, I learned early not to rely on "things" to define who I am.
-My father passing away in College...watching a parent die or loved one die, changes you forever.
-Winning Miss Minnesota and competing at Miss America - after that year's experiences as well as speaking about children's safety and telling my story, my life had changed tremendously. I felt like the world and my friends had stayed the same.
-Leaving a corporate job I hated to speak for a non-profit and pursue my love of acting and speaking. If that had not happened, in no way would I be where I am today, but at the time, I had no clue where my rent would come from.
-Moving to Wisconsin. Leaving family and friends I've learned living somewhere new forces you to decide what's important to you and in life. You have to work hard to get involved in events/non-profits/communities - it's not the same as it was when you were young and you'd just meet people at bars or at work the same way. People have their own lives and own friends/families, and honestly, a girl alone at a bar just looks like you have issues!

With those experiences, and many more -I tend to side with Carole Barrowman. I've had a lot of experiences in my life, and they have always made me refocus, but I've always felt I've been in a constant state of "INVENTION". I haven't been married, and I do not have kids, therefore, partly for me, I've never been in a place where I felt I was living my life for other people and not allowed to do something for myself. I believe strongly in giving to causes and people in need, but my life up until this point, been lived in search of creating who I am, so a constant flux of INVENTION, is where I live.

Correct me if I"m wrong, but most people I know who have the signature "midlife crisis", or reinvention - tend to have kids and have been or are married. It seems like people change so much through their 20's which is the typical time to get married, often times they weren't finished finding out who they are as an individual before becoming "one" with someone else? I'm a big advocate of women living alone before they get married for at least a year as well as waiting for marriage. Clearly those are not the ONLY reasons for reinvention, often times it's weight loss, personal illness, tragedy, or general unhappiness.. ...

Whatever the reason, I think living in a constant state of INVENTION whether you are single or married, with or without kids is important for all of us.

To do that, our guests suggested asking yourself these questions:
-what do I love?
-If I could do anything, what would it be?
-Who do I want to be around?
-Start a "NEW ME" diary and fill it with goals, heros, and positives about who you want to become.
-Choose goals that fill intrinsic needs (those based on psychological needs NOT external ones such as finances or social status)

On top of that I recommend you decide a few things for yourself:
-What doesn't FEEL like work to you? Find a way to make THAT your job.
1)Write down your talents (organizing, speaking, inspiring, accounting, art,, customer service)
2)Write down who you love working with (age/environment etc)
3)Write down how you desire to give back (make a company more profitable, help others feel better about themselves, build homes for needy, make people laugh, feed the hungry, educate our youth)

Now... find a way to connect all those things.
-Persistence beats resistance always - don't give up!

Where passion meets purpose, their lies your vocation - NOW CONTINUE INVENTING! Be Creative - and have fun - there is no reason you cannot be the person and do the things you always dreamed of!

My favorite book for inspiration: "Chasing Daylight" -Erwin McManus

Tiff

This Cardboard Tastes Like Pizza?!

2010-10-15T10:46:00.000-04:00

Today on the show, I declared "Pizza Day" for everyone in Wisconsin...although I'm fairly sure it'll just be for us. However, once a month we have set a schedule for someone to bring in Pizza (or this winter we're doing soups/chili) to take advantage of the Pizza Oven we have from Boelter and we all eat lunch here together.

We've had everything from fancy Egg Breakfast Pizza, to the most amazing Taco Pizza I've ever tasted, to half homemade half pre-made concoctions.

Well today is my pizza day...and I brought in my version of homemade pizza - Frozen Pizzas from Digorno! YUM - I've been so excited for pizza day today I've eaten Pizza 3 other times this week. Sad, but true.

So, with no further adieu, here's how it went...

Pizza 1: Crispy Sicilian Flabread, extremely crispy..as in black ...Oops.
Pizza 2: Thick Spinach and Mushroom - so thick, the bottom was soft..oops.
Pizza 3: Ultra Thin Crispy Margarita - SO thin, there was no humanly possible way to see there was CARDBOARD UNDER IT?? Yes, I almost burned down TMJ4 because I cooked the pizza WITH the cardboard under it...OOPS!
Pizza 4: in the cooker...stuffed crust Supreme...WISH ME LUCK.....

The poor Morning Blend Staff is still starving...Oops.... that's why you never trust a blonde on pizza day.

Stop and smell the water

2010-09-13T19:30:00.000-04:00

Can you believe it's already Fall??? When I first moved here, I fell head over heels in love....with Lake Michigan....so I decided to take a moment to enjoy my favorite part of Milwaukee on one of our last 80 degree days and take some pictures. I sat at the lake and enjoyed the serenity of the water and meditated -my soul is always renewed when I'm near water and the vastness of the Lake is completely calming to me. I realized, I didn't spend NEARLY enough time there this summer and wondered, "how had I let all those days pass by without seeing the lake more often?"

When I treked back up to the road, I was amazed at how many locals jogging by or passing through, stopped to take pictures of this beauty.
It amazed me that no matter if you've lived here all your life, are semi-new to the area, or even just visiting, how the Lake can literally take your breath away. How often do we get so busy, we simply forget it's there?

How can we allow something we love so much go unnoticed?
I reflected on how important it is in all areas of our life, to simplypay attention to what's important to us.

As summer comes to an end, I've thought about what makes this community so great. ..the Festivals are amazing, the Lake is my love, but what makes Wisconsin such a wonderful place, is the people. It's all of you who stop and say hi, give me your critiques, or just wave and with a thumbs up and say "I love your show"...who make Milwaukee great for me.

I moved here not knowing a single person. At the end of the day, what I've learned is that life isn't about what job you have, where you live, or what car you drive...it's about the people in your life. Family, friends, significant others, and the random someone you learn from just by taking the time to chat with someone new. I've learned now more than ever, how valuable a simple letter, phone call, or making time to together for coffee or a shot of vodka is with the people you care about...I know we're all guilty of sometimes saying.. maybe next time.

So today I ask...what is important in your life that you have gone all summer without "noticing"?

Life is short...don't forget to stop and smell the water.

Enjoy the Pictures...it was a gorgeous day at the Lake -I was sitting in the far left concrete stoop in the picture of the lake!

My Transformers 3 Role: "Line-Bot"

2010-06-28T10:50:00.000-04:00

The Autobots and Decepticons are not just toys for kids, they are a multi-million dollar CG Nation for fans of Transformers around the world!

Saturday was Milwaukee's own open call (cattle call -as they are called) to be an extra in Transformers 3 the movie. Transformers 3 will be filming at the Milwaukee Art Museum for two days in July and they were looking for 100 some odd extras to be trendy business executives for the film which will be released a year later in July 2011.

Thousands of people from Milwaukee, Chicago, Minneapolis, and surrounding other states showed up to wait in line for hours in 90 degree piercing sun. Domino's pizza sold pizzas to people waiting in line, smart locals carried bags of water bottles to sell to parched hopefuls. Everyone desiring that 15 seconds of fame as a background artist in the movie. I went, and I waited....yes, I waited in line for 5.5 hours with my trusty umbrella for shade, company and fellow auditioner John, and a Nalgene of ice water as we slowly creept (me barefoot-you try wearing 4" heals for 6 hrs without a place to sit) up 4 full city blocks. All towards that sacred moment in front of casting.

That moment...yeah...well it consisted of filling out a sheet of paper with your statistics (Ht, Wt, Age, measurements) and taking a snap shot with another person. You were in and out of the actual casting within 15 seconds.

Truth be told, this is the way most if not all open calls I've ever been to go and if you don't like that, don't even kid yourself that you'd have fun on set. On set as an extra, you hurry up and wait the whole day. You're not allowed to take pictures with any famous actors or directors and most often are corralled away from them anyway. You repeat the same walking/laughing/clapping/screaming/standing/sitting/looking pattern over and over for 8-14 hours. And NO you are NOT allowed to have your cell phone with you to text, sneak shots, or do email while on set. You simply stand and wait....just like you did to get the Extra role in the first place. There are no perks (unless you're a professional actor hoping to get your SAG card), and you're definitely NOT treated like a celebrity. Sounds boring right? Honestly, I can't lie--I still love it! I love everything about being on a set, camera, lights, ACTION! There is a thrill for me doing work, that never feels like work.

So why not sit in line for nearly 6 hours? Some may call it crazy...I'm a bit demented I guess, because I thought it was fun. We chatted with other people around us, and played trivia on our iPhones. I will say this though, there were many people there talking about how this could be their moment of fame, they might get paid a lot of money to become rich and maybe even become the next Shia Labeouf. I hate to break it to you, but our biggest hope if you are cast as an extra, is that the scene makes it on screen..and if it does, the only transformer character role we'll get is, "Extra-bot".

The moral of the story is this: Don't be Decipti"Conned". If you're doing something to be "famous" or in hopes of getting "discovered", most often, you're there for the wrong reasons in my opinion. Life, TV, the Movies, they are all about the experience, and having fun doing something new and exciting. So enjoy the loooonnnngggg wait...it's worth it if you love what you're doing!

And maybe,...just maybe, you'll be the one in a million who can say they've been in a blockbuster movie. Good luck to the thousands who auditioned!

Fa la la la la

2010-06-11T10:15:00.000-04:00

My love of music started at an early age, and has continued to be a favorite story of my mother's to tell. I HATED swimming lessons. Many reasons hindered my love; It was early in the morning, it was in a freezing cold lake, and green algae commonly squished between your toes in certain areas of the lesson space. Although I was relatively shy as a child (surprisingly true), I was also quite resourceful when need-be. My favorite play was "Annie"-- I had every song memorized! So to avoid getting in the water, I would stand on the dock and sing to my class 'The Sun will Come Out Tomorrow'. Growing up in a small town of 600 people, you can imagine how often I've heard that story retold.

Singing was always a shy love of mine. I loved all music growing up including; taking piano lessons, singing in a church choir, school choir, vocal competitions and eventually singing on the Miss America stage in Atlantic City in front of 6,000 people and at a Twins Game.

Few people ever knew that singing in front of people, was actually my biggest fear. My choir teacher, Miss Starr and my mom knew. I would never allow anyone in the room to watch a competition and most often if anyone was coaching me, I would have them not look at me. This fear was so physically strong for me and one I fought so hard because I loved singing, but was barely was able to overcome that fear. I would shake, nearly cry, lose my voice, be completely off key, and often just lose control of my body. Many people say they feel this way when they have to do public speaking. My mom never pushed me, she just wasn't that type of parent, however, she would constantly give me positive encouragement and try to instill confidence in my ability. To this day, I fully recognize I'm not a fabulous singer, but I can carry a tune.

Recently, I wanted to rediscover my musical passions and purchased a piano. After doing so, my friend Christine asked, "Should you require your child to stay with a musical instrument even if they don't like it." I really wanted to throw that out for all of you to advise her. Personally, I feel had Mama O' not pushed me to continue practicing piano when I hated it (No one likes practicing), and had she not continually encouraged me to believe in my singing, I never would have become Miss Minnesota. And without the musical training of piano, singing is that much harder to read music and stay on tune. I am grateful for having great supportive people in my life because the truth is we all have fears, and we all have areas we lack confidence and it takes special people (parents. teachers and friends) to push you a little because they know the benefits it will give you later in life - some that may even surprise you!

Maybe the trick is finding a) Something they love and b)An instrument they are naturally good at. Give them a time frame to be committed to practicing and learn it, perhaps a year? And then if they still hate it, find something else they are good at. I think music education benefits everyone in more ways that the obvious, and often times I hear adult friends saying "I wish" when it comes to piano, guitar, and singing lessons.

Weigh in with your thoughts and personal story to help Christine and her daughter make this decisions. Her daughter cries every time she has to practice piano. What do you think, "Should you require your child to stay with a musical instrument even if they don't like it?"

Maybe I'm a Narcolepzzzzzzzz.....

2010-06-03T11:43:00.002-04:00

Today we had the Sleep Wellness Institute on the show and chatted about Neurofeedback and Project Brain Harmony, as well as the irresistible power nap. I've often said, I must have been a cat in my former life because I LOVE to sleep, all day if possible. Throughout the day there are times I feel like I'm drugged and the need for a nap attacks me inappropriately without choice. In fact, when I was 17, I couldn't drive longer than 45 minutes without pulling over to take a nap or I'd fall asleep at the wheel. SCARY! That has since changed, but it's evident that I have been seriously sleep deprived at periods throughout my life.

Mark Stoiber from the Sleep Wellness Institute told me that if you start dreaming immediately upon taking a nap (which I do) you're sleep deprived. Crap! (But to no surprise since my ass of a nocturnal cat meows incessantly from 3am-5:45am even audible through earplugs.) That got us asking him about when you fall asleep and feel awake but cannot wake yourself. It'soften accompanied by a feeling of people (ghosts, aliens, levitation, intruders, or visitors) around you. I HAVE THIS ALL THE TIME! However, it's always during a nap, not evening sleep. Have you experienced this???

It's called "Sleep Paralysis". It's a scientifically explained phenomenon where you are still in REM, but seemingly experiencing all your senses as though you're awake because your body and brain momentarily disconnect. Here is a medical explanation of Sleep Paralysis, and click on this for a cross-cultural creepier explanation with all the folklore versions.

I've experienced the sleep simulated levitation feeling, the aliens scare, the ghostly presence, as well as the feeling of random visitors walking around me while I simply cannot wake up. Tell me your story...we all apparently have it. Is it science or supernatural in your mind?

The "Key" to Marriage

2010-05-18T12:03:00.001-04:00

"Hey Honey, what is the 'Key' to our marriage?" Husband, "WhisKEY"!

OK, so I'm a bit cynical about marriage, I know. Mainly due to the fact that I don't know many people who are happily married. Married, yes, but happily is the operative word. I do however, know MANY people who are divorced.

WHOA - hold on - don't confuse me with someone who doesn't believe in love or even soul mates. I do. Passionately. I even know a few who I believe are soul mates. And no, I didn't grow up in a loveless household. I was fortunate that even though my parents divorced, they were best friends and always loved each other. I saw nothing but admiration between the two of them.

Truth be told, I'm a hopeless romantic who believes in the stuff movies are made of. Honestly, I guess I've just never been that girl who dreamed of her wedding, the dress or anything....wait, once I did dream of a buffet I saw at a wedding, does that count?

Regardless of my stained-glass view of love and broken-glass view of marriage, I'm fascinated by people who are married and claim to be happy. I'm not all skeptic, I'm curious and hopeful! In fact, I often find myself interviewing couples about how they've made it so long together. Adding to my doubts, often a few years after I've asked them, they divorce. Reasons often stating..."he wasn't who I thought he was", "we grew apart", "I'm not physically attracted to him/her anymore", and the obvious and disgusting reason, infidelity.

Is there hope for a loving monogamous partnership in today's world? Bob thinks so. The other weekend I went to a fundraiser at the Pfister and had a great conversation with Bob and his wife who were celebrating their 40th anniversary. As we Cheer's and toasted, Bob says the reason he believes they've stayed together is because their faith aligned and they lived out that faith together in their lives as a couple. It was obvious there was a deep mutual respect for each other and they have a great sense of humor.

Husband asks his wife, "Sweets, what do you like most about me -my hansome face or my muscular body?" She looked at him from head to toe and replied, "Your sense of Humor."

Bob and his wive "G", were in their 60's - is a committed marriage that lasts for a lifetime a thing of past? In our instant gratification society are people too concerned with their own wants to consider a lifetime of "we"?

I ask you: What keeps you married? How have you made it as long as you have? Why aren't most marriages lasting these days? Is love a FEELING or a CHOICE? I'd love to know your thoughts...whether you're single, married, or divorced.

Our Greatest Fear..

2010-05-13T19:07:00.001-04:00

Few people in the world truly realize the greatness of their purpose. When they do, I believe, it is a glimpse inside of God's intentions. Knowing your talents and facing the truth of your purpose here on earth is profound.

Last weekend, I had a girlfriend visit who is always a motivator in my life. We talked about dreams, goals, love, and family. I've had several moments in my life when I've realized I was scared of my purpose - not knowing what it was or fear of not being able to fulfill it. Nights I laid awake wide-eyed silently conversing through prayer asking if was making the right decisions and taking the right paths to fulfill it.

Through those sleepless nights, being grateful for my blessings and moments looking within my soul I've realized my greatest fear is not that I am inadequate and can’t make a difference in the world, but instead - that I will falter in living out the greatness I know is within me....that I know is within in all of us.

I believe the truth of the words below, which were once used in a Nelson Mandella speech, should guide every individual. However, wouldn't you agree that most people live in fear of dying and having left no legacy, having had no purpose - serving no one and therefore they cripple their talents? Why do we all believe as children we can sing, but as adults quiet our voices only to the occasional shower or drunken karaoke? Do you make the excuse you've just become more intelligent as an adult to "know better" than to believe in yourself like you did when you were little? We often lose sight of our talents because we feel unworthy of showcasing them and begin creating excuses like; "I can't afford it", "I'm not good enough", "I wouldn't know where to start", "I'd give up what I've already worked so hard for", "I'm too old/young"...and the excuses go on.

Start small: Re-reading motivational books have inspired me to write deeper in this blog. Walking through a gift shop seeing local artists paintings motivated me to get out my art supplies and get creative. Hearing my girlfriend talk about a new show she’ll be in, reminded me how much I miss performing in theatre and improv comedy. Judging a local singing contest at Mickey's made me miss singing. I'll be the first to admit I'm not the best there is at any of those above-mentioned talents, but they make me happy doing them. What creative outlet have you denied yourself out of fear or excuses? What do you need to rediscover?

Take the time to RE-realize your Talents...Your Purpose...the reason you get up every Monday morning. I hope this poem will inspire you as much as it did me, enjoy...

OUR GREATEST FEAR

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.
It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,talented and fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?
You are a child of God.
Your playing small does not serve the world.
There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other
people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear,

Our presence automatically liberates others.

-Marianne Williamson

"It's Windy isn't it?", "No..It's Thursday"

2010-05-05T13:00:00.001-04:00

Monday we had the Hearing Loss Association of America on the show and this weekend is also Mother’s Day, so it got me thinking about my mom, Mama O’.

My mother wears two hearing aids, she has since she was 18. I've often talked about how her hearing loss has shaped our mother-daughter relationship on the show. The title of this blog illustrates a funny exchange I’m sure I've had with my mom at some point. All my life, I've been my mom’s ears in public situations to avoid these mishaps, but every once in a while, she just makes me laugh.

Hearing aids aren't covered by insurance so having grown up without a lot of money, this meant that most of my life the hearing aids my mom used ring constantly, or weren't individualized for her ear.

My mother has the best sense of humor through it all…if you ever joke about her hearing she (without missing a beat) pulls out the ol' “What?”, beating you to the punch line. In fact, my father used to joke that her hearing loss was the reason they had three kids in the first place. My dad would say, “Wanna go to bed or what?” (wink wink) …and my mother would reply, “What?”. Hence the three of us….

"I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but its state of the art. It's perfect." "Really," answered the neighbor. "What kind is it?" "Twelve thirty."

I joke, but it’s of course not all comical …someone who suffers from hearing loss has a lot of social stigma’s to overcome. The HLAA educated us today that 31 million Americans have a hearing disorder and 22 million of those could have been prevented yet most people don’t ever get help hearing due to the social stigmas.You should watch the segment with our guest Eloise, who was a great example, saying that she didn't know she had a problem until she had lost 5 jobs and her relationships were strained because she simply could not communicate effectively.

I've seen first-hand how people speak slower to someone who can’t hear because they assume they lack intelligence when really they just can’t hear you! In many cases, if my mom doesn't hear someone speak to her (especially if she cannot see them) they think she’s being rude by not responding and get upset. Don’t even get me started about how angry I am that hearing aids aren't covered by insurance!! These are all reasons education and funding is needed. Diedre Downs, who won Miss America my year, wore a hearing aid and never told anyone. She felt it could hinder her chances of winning if the judges knew and unfairly thought she couldn't “perform” the job. She later began speaking on behalf of hearing foundations, but during our competition, it was a secret she only shared with a few of us due to the stigma’s hearing loss holds.

I could go on forever, however, the point of this entry wasn't to expose my mom’s hearing loss, or ramble…it was actually to point out that no one should be ashamed or embarrassed if they have trouble hearing. Get a hearing test, and if you cannot afford treatment, there are many studies that are free and provide you with hearing aids you can keep.

Watching my mother’s daily struggles has taught me a lot and helped to create the close-knit bond we share. Even though humor is how we deal with my mom’s hearing loss, I’ll say in a moment of all honesty, it’s not easy for her. And I’d be lying if I said I never get frustrated.

Tolerance, education, and a lot of repeating yourself a little bit louder come with living with someone who has hearing problems. I said..REPEATING YOURSELF A LITTLE LOUDER WORKS!

Remember to count your blessings this Mother’s Day. I count Mama O’, as one of my biggest blessings in life. Mom- I figured I should write this next sentence. If I just said it to you over the phone this Mothers day instead of hearing, “Mom, the biggest compliment I've ever received is when people say I remind them of you." You’ll probably ask me, “What? I remind you of glue?”

NO MOM…simply put, all I am, I owe to you. You are my hero. I love you. Happy Mother’s Day. I SAID…HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!

And Happy Mother's Day to all of you women who are parents and Grandparents, you are all saints.

Swimming in my Money Pit

2010-05-04T18:23:00.002-04:00

Question:
"What full time staff member would you hire if you won a million dollars a Chef, Nanny, or Housekeeper."

Me - well, first and foremost, I would create a money pit....and then swim in it -Daily -and laugh obnoxiously with a martini in hand.

Second, to answer the question, I would hire a Chef. We'd all be a size 4 if only someone else made us responsible for what we put in our mouth, right? Yeah, I'll keep dreaming --- unfortunately, I often dream of the memorizing smell of deep fry, I can't resist! I'm guilty of adoring all foods bad; cheese, french fries, pizza, buffalo wings, and sauces...OH SAUCES - don't get me started on

dipping! I choose what I eat most often based on what condiment I'm craving.

So what if I eat ranch by the glass? ....Don't Eating is entertaining to me, not just a way to fuel my body. Since I was little, meals have been bonding time I shared with my mom where our favorite thing to do has been to go to a restaurant for brunch, and stay til dinner. To a fault, I'm a complete buffet girl too - I love to taste appetizers and combos of flavors and textures. I can't just eat my meal, I taste everyone else's too. People who know me, know when my mom and I get together we disappear into a time warp when we enter a restaurant or cook a meal. Therefore, if I had a chef I could control myself I swear! Chef's can trick you into eating healthier and it tastes good.

I'm guessing this choice was a 100% obvious - I don't have kids so the nanny was out, and I enjoy cleaning. When my home is dust-free so is my brain. Don't get me wrong, I'll hire someone to clean the toilet - and the floors - but dusting and organizing I actually enjoy.

All this food talk is making me HUNGRY! So... Who would you hire?

Tiffany Time - Being Alone not being Lonely

2010-04-30T14:09:00.004-04:00

In my opinion there is a HUGE difference between being alone and being lonely. Do you beg to differ? Then maybe you're not seeing aloneness as an opportunity. The time in-between being a social diva to be creative in your own space...be alone with your thoughts and reinvent your goals, tweak your outlook and re-adjust your attitude. I like to call it "Tiffany Time" for those who know me.

Moving to a city where I didn't know a single soul has gifted me many quiet moments. However, at first, I caught myself losing that gift by filling every moment with visitors, travel, or phone conversations. Partly in order to not let my close friends and family feel like this would change our relationship, and also still being so close to MN, everyone wanted to come to visit. It was a cursed blessing in a way because I need to give myself a "time out" here and there. Now that things have relaxed a bit, I've been reminded to be present to spending time by myself. Perhaps it's because I'm reading a book with that very focus. Or maybe it's because I haven't had much alone time with my schedule until now. I'm guilty as I know many of you are, that I tend to book myself crazy and although I thrive on the work I do, multitasking and social outings, I need myTiffany Time too--to regroup, refresh, and refocus.

One of the books I'm reading right now was given to me from my cousin. Its purpose is to assure me that my decisions are sound and I'm OK with my independence. I've been repeatedly reassured from the first 4 chapters, I already am in the place I want to be! I have changed tremendously as a woman in the past 4 years becoming a very independent person. My experience in the public position of Miss Minnesota started much of it by teaching me so many things that some people never have the chance to learn in lifetime, I'm incredibly grateful for that experience. Also, I am a firm believer that EVERY WOMAN NEEDS TO LIVE ALONE AT SOME POINT IN HER LIFE BEFORE GETTING MARRIED - and through my own experience with that I've owned myself in a new way. I've learned who I really am.....quietly..... when no one is watching...when I'm not focused on a relationship-- when I'm simply, alone. Best of all, I've learned to love that person and be OK with not needing someone to take care of me. I can fix things, hang pictures, and do handy work without my brothers or guy friends to help! Once you've learned those things, discovered you're OK with yourself, it's then you define who you can be with another person.

Here is a quote from the book I'm reading that might inspire you to take some time for yourself before the summer gets crazy. Time to hear your own thoughts, listen to your heart, take in the beauty of the Lake and be present to your place in life. Perhaps its just taking a moment to realize how blessed you are to have all you have when so many out there have so little. Enjoy.......

"Aloneness is an opportunity, a state brimming with potentiality, with resources for renewed life-not a life sentence. Its cultivation should not be an apology but an art. In the space of aloneness--and perhaps only there - a woman is free to admit and act on her own desires. It is where we have the opportunity to discover that we are 'not a half' but a sovereign whole. With that insight, we can then begin to discard the remnant of 'thingness'--the spoiling belief that gives rise to our timidity, insecurity, and fear---so that we can realize true autonomy, with or without a partner." --- Florence FALK, ON MY OWN

My Closets Don't Judge Me!

2010-04-20T15:15:00.003-04:00

I tend to compartmentalize most things in my life -so I'm told. I think it allows me to enjoy many different things in life..types of people, events, music, hobbies etc.. Some think it's bad...however, when it comes to closets, they LOVE my compartmentalizing habits!

To say this only happened after moving, would be a lie. It has helped, because I was forced to get rid of old items, however, this is something I cannot deny is in my inherent nature. I love to color code, make lists, put in compartments, shelves, organize by sleeve length, hanging holders, create creative nooks - and don't even get me started on office supplies and organizers! I've had what's affectionately referred to as the "Accessory Closet" (a makeshift closet which is a corner with a curtain to cover) for a couple years. In my old place it was the front closet, in my new place, it has it's own purpose in my bedroom. It holds belts, shoes, purses, scarves and hats only...it's beautiful.

Some think compartmentalizing isn't a good thing. It can keep you emotionally unattached to things. However, when it comes to my closets, I never get judged. So compartmentalize away, I say.....here is a snippet of what the Accessory closet is, it's glorious to me, enjoy!

Pop Can

2010-04-12T20:10:00.001-04:00

I left a soda can on my kitchen counter this morning. I'm eating an early lunch and realizing it would be really good with that cranberry spritzer on my counter. I've actually left a can on my car roof before only to hear it tumble off a half block away. I once chased 6 blocks after someone in traffic because they had dropped their shoes off the top of their car to track them down and give it back to them. SHOES?? Isn't it illegal to drive barefoot people?!

The bigger point is that I'm so often surprised about how we can forget things and never feel remorse...until....WE REMEMBER! Think about it - the only things you feel bad about losing are the things you have memories of having. It got me thinking...even with something as menial as a can of soda - now that I thought of it, I really want it - now that I realize and remember losing it. Not only that, but I'd like it the way it was when I left it there...cold, sweating a little because it's brand new out of the fridge. Isn't that the way most things we miss are? Whether it's people, jobs, pets, relationships....We wish we could have them they way they WERE, the way they used to be when we had them?

The truth is that this mentality and reliving memories, not noticing things have changed, can keep us living in the past...always comparing and never really experiencing the present. Don't get me wrong - after losing my father at a young age, I am a huge believer in keeping memories of loved ones alive, but overkill can keep us from moving on.

My cousin Sean visited this weekend and reminiscing about growing up we talked about the fact I've always been so upset with myself for having such a bad memory. I often have people tell me stories of things that happened in my past while growing up - in high school - in college - at work - at events - YESTERDAY...and I have no recollection of them whatsoever! How horrible that they are able to relive more moments in my life than me?!!

Then I realized...wait a second....Maybe I'm lucky!? I have a poor memory and perhaps that allows me to live in the present more than people who have a ridiculously articulate memories? Moving and trying new things, being present and spontaneous all are fun because I simple don't always remember things prior in too much detail, as silly as that sounds. It's always a conscious effort to live in the here and now - but having a bad memory sure helps! To-do lists should be a thing of the past - if you forget, GREAT - you have more time to do other in-the-moment things, right!?

Well, maybe. I do love my to-do lists...

GET OFF THE AXIOM!: Auto-pilot Rehab

2009-03-05T22:45:00.012-05:00

I've been so UNinspired lately it's almost comical. Today after my coffee, which generally makes me motivated to accomplish a superhuman number of tasks, I almost fell asleep. I thought what better than to perk me up than to hit the gym...I didn't even have the energy to adjust the bike to the right place so for a good 5 minutes I biked with my knees to my chin and by 10 minutes the bike had won and I was gasping for mercy! What is happening to me?

Being so UNinspired today and thinking about it caused me to think that maybe what I'm really inspired by is people. And I'm not in a job where I'm surrounded by them right now. See...I even said "them" as if I don't know who "people" are anymore. I need PEOPLE! Help, I need a crowd ....fast! WAIT? Maybe it's not people I need...it's the way we live avoiding "them" I just need to stop? Am I a human avoider?

Have you noticed we are becoming very much like the AXIOM in Wall-E? We are commercially driven auto-pilot robots sucked into our cell phones, and computers and daily routines without really "seeing" what's going on around us! If you haven't watched the Disney movie, you should. It's a sweet love story yes, but what I took out of it is the mindlessness of todays society and what a scary reality it is, not in the future, but NOW!

Let's start with phone conversations -OK - I admit, I've been accused on the phone of not paying attention. My blame goes on hating talking on the phone and having to get things done while I'm "listening". I'm guilty of "uh-huh'ing" my way through parts of conversations, and I finally realized this for myself when I first used Skype -phone with a tv screen online. The conversation was SO different....I had to truly just pay attention -sit down, turn the tv off, put my magazine to the side, no internet, and just talk on the "phone" because he would bust me if I wasn't! It made me realize how much I usually do when I'm on the phone instead of just listening.

Maybe you're not quilty of that ---well, How often have you driven 20 miles and realized you have no recollection of the trip? Happens to me ALL THE TIME. Is it societal auto-pilot? A sort of multi-tasking mania? At moments I'm doing all of this at once: listening to a song, singing in my head or out loud, eating food, texting (oops, I admitted it) or talking on the phone, sometimes looking at my planner if it's a business call--OR just spacing out. I couldn't tell you exactly what I passed during those 20 miles or where the heck I was if I didn't drive those roads everyday. Much less - I don't even know what happened while I was driving yet I made all the right turns and was still going to the right place...on auto-pilot! SCARY!

Not only that, but I'm a HORRIBLE nail biter and when I took off fake nails the other day I stared into space biting those deliciously tender bits of awesomeness for nearly 4 hours straight without blinking!

Even worse - I find myself walking into stores involved on my cell phone - head down and avoiding eye contact so to not interupt my call by someone "interacting" with me, taking calls at the checkout, and involved in texting and internet at caribou rather than noticing anyone around me and just having a cup of Joe.

The elevator is the worst, I don't even attempt to make eye contact or say hello anymore...I'm mentally checking off what I'm doing next in my head and staring at the little light up numbers like they show in awkward tv moments! What happened to me? Someone once told me the sole reason they tracked me down to get to know each other was because of how I greeted them when they walked into an elevator. Help?!! What have I become?! I NEED A SUPPORT GROUP.....AUTO-PILOT REHAB! Do you know what I'm talking about?

I've been noticing it more and more. I think I'm getting so much done, but really I'm paying attention to nothing and checking it off a list that probably doesn't really matter.

Recently, with a few days off I've had a chance to just be...relinquish my soul to helping my mom move, relaxing, hanging out, and even playing BINGO, and not be on my phone or computer. I've watched tv, movies, and even just sat and talked with real live, gulp, "people".

Just being present to the stillness has made me realize how I zone out ALL the time to the beauty and people around me. All under the guise of getting things done.

Since noticing this I've recently been inspired so many times! I used to pride myself on my cursed blessing that people just "talked" to me...now I know why, it's simply that I invited them to.

I've said hello to people walking into stores and sang like I was in the shower everywhere I walk. It's been nice...in fact one of our maintenence men said the other day, "You are so happy..always singing, just like one of our guys who's always whistling, it's refreshing"...and conversation ensued. Huh? I'd never talked to him before more than a "hi" even though I see him every day. He was nice.

I went to church on Ash Wednesday and I saw the man who bags my groceries handing out bulletins. He is developmentally challenged and has a very unique voice that I suddenly recognized. Not because he said hello (even though he did)..but because as I was looking for a seat I heard his unmistakeable vocals singing every word of the choirs music. Music I have never heard and music that wasn't a communal song.... yet he knew every word.

Screw the song - Why had I never taken such notice of him before, he was so kind? This really beautiful moment slapped me in the face and I noticed someone who I usually just say "paper" to with a non-interactive smile as I'm digging in my purse getting my Visa. He became an inspiration to me. He woke me out of my 'Axiom-like trance' to what life was about...I realized inspiration comes from 3 simple things; paying attention, giving back, and living your gifts.

I realized it's not that I'm not "doing" those things--what I realized was I'm not being fully present all the time and too often I'm checking things off of my list and not PAYING ATTENTION! I check off my list to volunteer once a month, I check off my list to do something towards my career each week...but they aren't really present activities. They are checkmarks. My whole life is a list of To do's....

I LOVE TO DO LISTS! People who know me best, will tell you mine are ridiculous, and often times when I'm ordering out my day you'll see "eat" and "shower" on that checklist. Obscene I know.

Can I say it? No more random checklists...no more auto-pilot. I'm putting myself through rehab for list makers and the electronically obsessed. Truth be told, I'll never give up my planner or To-Do lists, but I might just stop during that list to smell the laundry...once it's clean of course.

I've been bored, and unispired, because I simply haven't noticed anything, and everyONE that could change my day. Maybe you're on auto-pilot too - even worse if you feel that way on the job - that's where you spend most of your time and should feel alive!

Who are you ignoring? Your soulmate? Someone you can learn from? A person who needs a smile? If you want to know, perhaps a good start is to just pay attention and start to look at someone in the elevator, smile at the person you pass going in the store, or simply notice and say hi to the person bagging your groceries.

As for lists...Sometimes we miss the light in life when we're spending too much time with a highlighter.

The Plant is always greener... in someone else's office

2008-12-08T21:07:00.011-05:00

I'm starting on my New Years resolutions early...and one of them was to finish my book - Chasing Daylight by Erwin McManus--which I HIGHLY recommend. It was exactly what I needed. Many of the quotes were extremely motivational and I thought I'd share one of them that hit me as I look back at my manic underlining while reading it.

"We are all haunted with the fear of living lives of insignificance, and we all hear the voice that tells us we can live the dream. Somehow we all know that to play it safe is to lose the game. [Sometimes you have] to risk all that you have for all that could be."

I think this quote rings true for not only career but also love. Tonight, let's consider career.

Here was my scenario. I wanted a corporate office, window, expense account, networking lunches, office paid happy hours, and the prestige of a corner office with----yes, you guessed it-- a plant. Guess what? I got it---and even the plant was fake! Don't get me wrong - I was happy and extremely grateful for the life I was living. It was a good life, one I worked hard for, one I was financially very rewarded for. I had everything I wanted! I could even go shopping and drop a thousand dollars and not even flinch - by a round of shots for the bar and be everyone's best friend for the night....who wouldn't be happy?!

Yet everyday as I looked out my fish bowled windows I felt myself wondering what those people who were driving at 10am did? Then again at 2pm...what did those people do? 3pm? 4pm? Crap...I was still wondering at 6pm from my private office with my company logo'd polo what those people did. It went from a curiousity of what kinds of jobs didn't require an office, to sheer jealousy of those not confined by a desk. Before I strangled myself with my mouse, I knew I had to investigate because I believed I was made for something more.

I took a leave of absence to speak for a non-profit at corporations all over the twin cities. I figured it would not only be a great opportunity to give back to my community and use my talent of public speaking, but professionally I could scout out other corporations and see how much greener the plants were in their offices.

I visited nearly 60 corporations considered "best places to work" in 3 months. I learned a lot. They really were some of the best places to work....yet I was baffled when I found that even there, everyone was afraid of living a life without purpose - happy and grateful for the lives they had, yet unfulfilled. My actual speech incorporated this thought...perhaps that's why the quote in McManus's book struck me. People would approach me afterwards and talk about the fact they felt that they had so much more to give or talents they just were afraid to pursue for fear of leaving that plastic plant office to see if something could pan out. They simply couldn't risk all they had worked so hard for.

Many of those offices even had beautiful real plants...flourishingly green. They truly were wonderful enviroments to work in with great programs to acknowledge your work. Yet, even there, people were envious of everyone else's job, and of a person like me who was now someone you'd see out your window on the road at 10am, 2pm, and 3pm making a difference ...unchained by a desk. It wasn't the Office that was bad...it was the fact they weren't using their God given talents that made them envious. During that short leave of absence I literally spoke with thousands of people paralyzed by fear of not leaving any mark on this world - and living a life of insignificance was their greatest fear. I learned more in those months about human nature than any other time of my life. That was 2 years ago...and I've continued to be a part of that non-profit ever since.

Don't get me wrong - working for a great company you can make a huge difference. I'm talking about truly exhausting your talents...whether in a coporation or someplace else--risking comfort for uncertainty, in hopes of all that can be. Is that smart in this economy? Possibly not. First hand I can tell you it's a roller coaster with blows to your ego, and low lows...that is s100% worth it for the chance at your dream in my opinion. Yet most people are not willing to risk anything for something better....in fact, they cling to what they have for fear of failure.

Here at the end of 2008, I feel that I've stared failure straight in the face...I even let it spit on me. I won't lie, I cried, I've felt like I failed. Then I recognized that it's ok to restrategize but it's not ok to give up. I tell students I teach persistence beats resistence and I knew I had to practice what I preach. Someone I admire greatly said to me, "it's not the most talented people that make it, it's the most persistent who succeed and you can watch the rest drop out around you when the going gets rough". He also said, "Sometimes when you pursue your passions there aren't any signs. In fact the only signs there are, are people telling you you'll never make it." I've come to learn, that includes yourself.

So my final though is this...will you let someone tell you no because they economy is bad, the risk is too great, you're not good enough, it's not realistic, you're too old, or too young, that you'll never make it? Why let someone else determine your destiny? Erwin McManus taught me that we all fear following a passion for fear we'll pursue it wholeheartedly and it's the wrong choice. His book is an affirmation that "if we desperately want to do what is in God's heart, not just our own, the liberating reality is this: When we are passionate about God, we can trust our passions."

What I learned is those people we admire so much who seem to be living life to the fullest in all those jobs we wish we had aren't living on trust funds (I like to assume everyone who has a better life than me must indeed have a trust fund.) In fact they are the first ones to tell us that it's not that they are that much more talented, or intelligent than us, they simply chose to risk what they had, for all that could be. They Chased Daylight...and in doing so they are fulfilling their purpose-Living the Dream we all can live, if only - we dare to believe.

So I ask this tonight ---are you playing it safe? are you waiting for a sign? are you waiting to know the answers and outcome before you risk jumping in? A lifelong journey of pursuing your dreams will surely at some points bring hardship and suffering....it may even make you feel like you've been in a boxing match with your hands tied behind your back (refer to my depressive post below) Yet, the reward is the adventure, the boxing match and of course the possibility of the greatest life you've ever imagined.

In fact, if you take the risk, you might even find yourself walking among and watering the greenest garden that could never have existed in that lifeless florescent office.

Snow Globe

2008-12-01T00:52:00.008-05:00

Have you ever felt like you went head to head in a boxing match with your hands tied behind your back? Black and Blue and totally feeling beat up..physically, emotionally, mentally, and unable to fight back....

This is the time of year when I'm usually sweeping my feet in circles as I walk through whispy new snowfalls.....laughing to myself while I catch snowflakes on my tongue. Yet the end of 2008 has seemed relentless on punching me where it counts. Economy, love, career, and health have all seemed to fail me lately. Even on my birthday, everything seemed to go wrong..I locked my keyes in my car not once, but TWICE...once while it was running... I dropped an expensive ornament in a store and it shattered...and then I ended up in the emergency room for the night with a major infection...that still persists and hopefully I can dodge surgery. What Crap! So tonight, I pick up a snowglobe, tip it upside-down, shake it and find myself wishing I were inside of that world completely enchanted with the snowy winter-wonderland inside.

I've always admired people who have thick skin and don't take things personally or to heart. I, on the other hand, take everything to heart. I used to think it was a gift... now I'm beginning to think it's a curse. Have you ever felt like your heart is so full of saddness it could burst? Not for yourself..(well ok, yes for yourself), but also for so many people who have it worse, for people you love and their problems, with negative things people have said to you, with fear of your future, for missing your past...and filled with uncertainty of where to go next?

I've always been someone who sees the positive in everything, and I've always believed that someone who isn't seeing the same has just been hurt and has forgotten how to see past it. My gift has always been to help people get past that hurt...use it to motivate towards something good for themselves and others and overcome any obstacles. However my heart has become consumed with hurt caused by the very people I thought I was helping. They haven't tried, and maybe don't even realize it. But, my question I pose to you tonight is this: When does loving someone become wrong for you?

I wonder? If I just turn off the lights, and see the reflection of the street lights through my window in the snowglobe, if I can just disappear in that tiny city street where everything is so perfect ---just for a night.....

Re-Gifting

2008-09-19T00:20:00.006-04:00

We all know that re-gifting is a bit taboo...you open a present at Christmas and realize it's the same thing you gave to that person a year ago. I've seen it happen, and it's not pretty. So is it ever a good idea?

How about re-gifting your heart? I think for the first time in a long time, I’ve allowed my heart to get broken. I’ve realized it’s been wrapped up in a pretty bow in a turquoise Tiffany's box and re-gifted over and over and over again in my lifetime. However, this time I gave it as a gift and I actually let someone open it!! He took it out and looked at... he Oooh'd and Aaahhh'd and said how much he loved it! Then... he dropped it and broke it.

So, I'm trying to pick up the pieces, glue them together and decide if I can re-gift it? Can you give someone the gift of your heart twice, are they trustworthy? Especially after so long of not letting anyone in on it........or am I doomed that butterfingers will do the same things again?

You help me decide.....

Ignorance causes "Bliss"-ters

2008-08-04T15:56:00.009-04:00

So do my new shoes!.... OUCH! I love them, but they do NOT love me. Wow...that seems to be a something I've heard before....so let's begin. Have you ever NOT allowed someone to love you before? Dumb question Tiffany right? You can't help when you love someone. Well, maybe not...what obstacles have you put in the way of people loving you so that you were in control of your own emotions?

What is it about us that prevents us from being everything we were meant to be? Is it fear? Insecurity? A feeling like we don't deserve it? A way to be in control? Or simply ignorance? Ignorant of the fact that you don't realize you weren't allowing yourself to feel or do things things because you simply didn't want to get hurt...be let down.. be alone...so instead you stay in control and don't allow for those things to happen to you. Really what you were doing is hurting yourself, and maybe others, more than if you had just known what you were doing and not been so blind!!

All my talk sometimes makes it seem like I really have everything figured out. But really, who does? So much wisdom, insight you comment...maybe instead it's ignorance? It's supposed to be Bliss isn't it?

How many times in your life have you been hurt so badly you decided you'd never let that happen again? Prob only once I hope.... me, I lost a parent. I"m not special for that, or deserve a round of applause for surviving, but I maybe just recognized since that point in my life, I've never allowed anyone to get close enough to me to allow myself to feel so hurt. Almost 7 years?!!!! Everyone is kept at a certain distance, a controlled distance, one that won't allow them to leave me and me to hurt for long. Are you doing that?

Let's talk about love - directly, not in metaphors as I usually do. I have been told, I don't allow people to fall in love with me....I've retorted...you don't allow yourself to fall in love, you just do. You can't decide when or where or how or with who, it just happens whether you want to be vulnerable or not. Am I wrong? I think there is so much truth to that...at least for me. Yet as I scream into an empty heart about vulnerability, I recognize maybe it's me who's not willing to let go? Not willing to move on so I don't get hurt, take care of myself without having a safety net, or even make a decision firmly for fear it's the wrong one and I'll regret something. How can I expect someone to be vulnerable to me when I am not fully vulnerable myself? I constantly have a backup...a burner on high...a parachute packed...pepto in my purse..and they know it!! Why hasn't anyone told me this before now?!

Ok ok...I'm back to my metaphors...let's go with it, remember my posting on the pop can I left on my car and saw it from my window? Read a year ago below if you don't.... I talk about when you remember you've lost something you want it back..the way it was when you had it. Part of it was I was giving up drinking so much regular pop at the time trying to drink diet pop to be more healthy (baby steps right?). Then WHAMO, I saw it out my window, remembered I had it there and realized when something you had is still in plain sight you can't really let it go..you picture just what it was like when you last had it and you still want it alittle. It takes real strength to move on, and cut yourself off from it. To be honest, I'll always see another can of regular pop, and it will remind me of how much I love Dr. Pepper...but if I've really moved on, it won't make me drool. I'll be able to laugh and smile at the memories I had with it....ah ..me and my "pops".

Holding onto things from the past prevents you from moving on to what is waiting for your future..because there is always a reason you decided you had to move.

I constantly miss my father. I want to be someone who makes him proud, someone who lives in the present and fulfills her purpose..exhausts her talents, and loves with abandon. I don't think he'd be proud I've used him leaving me as an excuse to not love...or even worse, be loved. But after a swift kick in the butt today and a lot of tears and thinking, that's what I know I have to do. I Tiffany Times am not so on track all the time as I sound...I'm just human, haunted by my past experiences, trying not to let them hold me back anymore.

So...I ask: What is holding you back? Did someone hurt you....leave you....you failed yourself.....you don't feel you deserve something....you can't give up control.....you are ignorant? Don't let ignorance be the ghost that haunts you from achieving what you want in any area of your life. Be honest with yourself and realize it..ask someone to give you a swift kick in the ass and buck up! Excuses, Excuses, Now is the time to change!

So, ignorance isn't always Bliss...sometimes it's more painful than if you had realized something in the first place. Don't just put a bandaid on your "Bliss"-ters....let them heal by not wearing the same shoes...it's ok if those shoes didn't fit right, there is another pair out there waiting for you..probably cuter, and calling your name!

Tiffany Times

All you can eat....

2008-07-31T19:22:00.004-04:00

Have I mentioned before that I like Buffets?

Just in case you think I'm going all soft and mushy lately I just thought I'd remind my readers, the other night when I went to dinner I tried to just order a filet, and it didnt' work. I couldn't just have 1 item...how boring!! I actually split an appetizer, half my dates meal, half my own and dessert. Sampling...ah - it's the way to live.

Much less complicated than trying to order ONE item and not get the sides or the main course you were hoping for. The beans are always greener on someone else's plate I guess you could say..... but I really LOVE green beans.

Let's be honest, at some point, it's all just gonna come out though isn't it?

Think with your Stomach?

2008-07-30T00:55:00.007-04:00

What are you hungry for? Do you have a big appetite? Not for cheese and tacos (mmm)...but for something more-- a dream, a goal, for love. ..

I was talking with someone tonight who gave me a new perspective on some of my feelings. Let's think about my last post - perhaps needing a parachute is a way of protecting myself. It's an excuse for not trusting fate and my instincts. He said, "why wouldn't you live for the rush?" He went on to say, "if you give attention to a backup plan you aren't able to give 100% focus to the what's happening in the now. If you spend time thinking about what you might need incase your plans don't work you could miss what's going on in front of you."

So he suggested I think with my stomach...he has stomach problems and most foods upset him painfully. So he has a choice. He could always protect himself and never taste new foods for fear of regretting eating it because there is a possiblity it will hurt him OR better yet, there is the possibility it could be the best thing he's ever had, a new favorite food that actually is healing! Honestly, he won't know unless he tries it...usually based on a "gut" instinct. (I crack me up...)

He outright said, "Yes Tiffany, there are times I've been so sure of eating a new food and I went for it 100% and what happened actually was the most embarrassing moment ever because I was wrong- it was a really bad decision. Yet the best is when I taste something new and realize it's amazing...and I never would have known if I lived my life protecting myself from potential pain."

I learned something from this and thought it was worth posting because maybe you will too. Two very different perspectives and risk factors. Brand your own approach - send me your analogy...am I making you hungry yet?

I know my appetite is stronger than ever.....um..question though -
Is it cheating if I keep Pepto in my purse? .....I guess old habits die hard.

Insatiable,
Tiffany

Calculated Uncertainty..Or just a StoveTop?

2008-07-29T04:21:00.016-04:00

Picture a Stove top..are you always sure to turn each burner off before you cook the next item or do you prepare them simultaneously? Me? Well I've been known to have all burners on at once!! They are a boilin' away JUST in case the first pot of water boils over, or evaporates, or I screw up the recipe...heck I might even leave them on if I decide I'd rather microwave instead of cook today. Please explain you say......well after a conversation I had with one of my best friends she affectionately nicknamed me "The Stove". Why...well, I have what some would call a problem with having too many backup plans for every decision I should be making. Some would say I over analyzing everything to death, others say it's the "want your cake and eat it too" syndrome, or what most believe -it's commitment issues - therefore I always have another option waiting on the back burner.

How many times can I confirm, I have NO commitment issues!! (except to working out..which I've admitted) Unfortunately, what I am, is indecisive - simply because I want to make the right choices. I am overly analytical admittedly, and I want to know all the answers before I commit. The problem is, I'm learning, sometimes you just don't get those answers up front. You just have to take a flying leap of faith.

CRAP - I'm afraid of heights?!...I like balance in my life and most often that balance for me is somewhere between perfect calculation and complete uncertainty... because YES sometimes I'm a walking contradiction. I am extremely decisive when it comes to any situation that doesn't involve me,that's what makes me great in business and at advice. I am also very risky at times when I believe strongly in my feelings..because although I'm overly analytical, I generally get into situations that need analyzing because I act on my emotions. I blame that on the fact that I am a huge believer in fate, in God, in things happening for a reason and also in us being able to create our own destiny. So therefore, why the heck do I not always trust those things? Am I a hypocrite for that?

YIKES?? I pray for clarity every day - I pray for my family and friends...heck sometimes I can't even decide what to pray for ... Even God gets annoyed with me at times because I might not ask just in case "ye shall receive" (just to find out I asked for the wrong thing).

In my defense...isn't it ok to have a backup plan? Circumstances can change at any minute..you can get fired, become broke, get in an accident, fall in love, fall out of love, get betrayed, or simply change your mind about something. Seriously - you wouldn't go skydiving without a parachute would you? That's not considered a leap of faith, it's just plain demented! Therefore, maybe I'm doing it the right way...I'm safe...or maybe dangerous because I'm always ready to jump seeing as I've packed a parachute. AH HA....Maybe I'm the one who's smart...huh...did you ever think of that? YEAH! .......Or Maybe not. Maybe I'm too scared to take a chance for fear it's the wrong choice. Do I live in fear or complete and utter calculated uncertainty?

WEIRD, I CAN'T DECIDE! Am I so well thought out I'm prepared for anything, or simply scared to death to make a wrong decision paralyzing myself from living life to it's fullest? It's time I liberated myself so I'm not a hypocrite. Personally, I believe I don't fear the uncertain, I just crave answers.
So as with any situation - I just need to take a deep breath, step back and re-evaluate why I am the way I am...so I can get those answers. Because until you fully understand yourself, you really shouldn't expect any one else to understand you either!

So my advice to you all today - live with at least a little Calculated Uncertainty and if people don't like it --tell them to go take a flying leap (I guarantee they packed a parachute too!)

Were the Beatles Wrong?

2008-06-30T03:27:00.013-04:00

All you need is love....you've heard that before right...sing it with me...Love is all you need. I'm a hopeless romantic...I know I've posted many blogs that would lead you to think otherwise, but really I'm the kind of girl that just wants to wear her boyfriends old sweatshirt because it smells like him. That wants to make eyes across the room and know with just a look that there's no one else. A girl who wants that Titantic-esc moment of artist love with wild abandon. But with my post on prox-intimacy did I spur up another conversation? A conversation I never knew I was brewing until I heard your responses to it?

Possibly because I want nothing more than to be hopelessly magically foolishy in love, I tend to want Love to really be all you need....yet I'm reminded tonight, there's so much more. There's physical attraction, there's the daily stuff and most importantly there's recognizing HOW you want to be loved......so the question is:
Is HOW we show we love someone more important than loving them at all?

How do you love someone correctly? Do they want to be showered with gifts and tokens of affection? Do they want your time? Do they want constant praise? Do they need loads of physical affection? Or do they want you to march down the street waving a flag with their name on it? What makes them feel loved? And what do you do if your styles are different?

I was introduced to this theory a few months ago and I think I'm finally starting to understand it, but the problem with a theory in real life is that there are strings attached.....heartstrings. Once you're involved it's hard to hear that all the things you do for someone aren't enough...when really they probably are, they just aren't the right display for your partner. Suddenly one of you starts to feel inadequate or tries hard to please at the expense of not enjoying it and in the end, you both just feel like you're not enough..that everything you do is just wrong...and your love...or your WAY of loving, just simply isn't good enough.

I guess someone can be in love with you or fall out of love at any moment for so many reasons....many which you might not feel you have control over, or never realized you should have controlled in the first place. I personally want out-of-control love.....where it simply doesn't make sense yet makes perfect sense and everything isnt' always right or easy, but just works.

Take a moment to think about if you compliment those you care about enough. Are you in a rut of picking out their flaws? For me, the truth is, I find flaws endearing. I think the flaws are what make a relationship interesting....sometimes the things that come between people are unfortunately exactly what drew you to them in the first place. What? You used to love the fact that I"m outgoing and can talk to anyone? And independent? Trying to become successful? It was attractive that I ate pizza remember? And cute that I text if I couldn't call when I'm thinking of you....and want to sleep in together......then WHAMO....suddenly all those cute little quirks become a list of romantic failures.

We've all been there...don't lie. Whatever side you're on at this moment, think if these issues are that big of a deal...if they are so monumental they are worth losing the person you really are head over heels for? Try telling them the ways You want to be Loved..what makes you feel appreciated. Ok, so what if the problem is you love them but maybe you're not in love... is it because of these differences or because you want something different? Don't try to change someone---If you really do love that someone, then maybe we all need to look at ourselves and recognize that sometimes people aren't perfect, but at the end of the day, if they just stupidly love us anyway..and we can learn to accept their gestures of affection that they ARE good at.....then maybe, just maybe John Lennon had it right.

I'll leave you to decide for yourself with of few of the lyrics ---from the Beatles "All you need is love"

Love, Love, Love.Love, Love, Love.Love, Love, Love.
There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game.
It's easy. All you need is love...
Nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you in time.
It's easy. All you need is love...

All you need is love, love.Love is all you need.All you need is love (All together, now!)All you need is love. (Everybody!)All you need is love, love.Love is all you need (love is all you need).

Prox-intimacy

2008-06-23T17:50:00.011-04:00

Anything can come between two people..... beliefs, arguments, interests, lack of intimacy, work, goals, money, children, or simply distance. I was told a quote once that said the worst hell for a human is "proximity without intimacy". It's being with someone without physically feeling the connection...and I think thats true for any of those things on my list.

Have you ever been close to someone and felt like your beliefs, politicially or personally are opposite? Or maybe you love different activities and can't seem to enjoy doing things together because someone is constantly compromising. Worlds worst, you are together but have no physical touch or tender moments....maybe work keeps you away, your goals are opposite or children take all your energy and attention. Maybe it's what I'm contemplating.....the miles between you are daunting.

I've thought about this phenomenon a lot lately....and the fact that so many people I know live a life without intimacy in their relationships in one or more of those areas, yet feel crippled to make changes for the better. So the question is, how do we get the courage to ask for more, or recognize we were mentally telling ourselves we lived on a cute little culdasac, when really our heart knew it was nothing more than a fancy name for a dead end?

Prox-intimacy I'm going to call it.....what does it take to survive a friendship or relationship that prohibits you from feeling connected in some awful way? Because to be honest, sometimes it's not a flaw, it's a circumstance....

Perhaps right now you are the one who's moving, or traveling, or working, or uninterested, or focused on other priorities.....either side of it, we've all been witness to moments where someone cuts us off. At it's worst it's verbally not speaking to us, physically cannot look us in the eye, or simply refuses to feel our touch. I don't think any human deserves that....heck, or animal for that matter! I have chosen in my life to change my relationships...be honest about my wants and flaws and needs. I've learned you cannot get what you want unless you decide for yourself to get it, or ask for it from those you love. I used to believe I could hint to people and they would respond....I'm a very talented persuader if I do say so myself. Having a psychology background, I often times would use reverse psychology to coax others to do what I needed without ever having to directly ask. Was a it a great talent...yes. Was it fulfilling....absolutely not. Through my experiences I've learned that asking is a much better policy...most often those who are worth your time will reciprocate and go above and beyond what you ask for.

So my message today....Don't settle for a friend, spouse, lover, or co-worker who isn't willing to work at your relationship. Allowing yourself to feel like you're shut off from another person emotionally isn't fair to you, or if you've shut off from another person, don't string them along... be honest about how you're feeling or take time to figure out what's at the root of your behavior. Sometimes making the decision to move on if you don't feel good about yourself or connected intimately with that person is ok....even if on paper, they looked like a perfect match to your needs.

Prox-intimacy.....the need for proximity WITH intimacy.....simply put, don't settle for less.

Re-Resolving for 2008

2008-01-13T23:16:00.001-05:00

So what, I say! So what -if I ate Don Pablos, Chiptole, McDonalds, easy cheese (yes from a can), and drank pop all week. I have 12 months right? Oh, did I make a resolution against all that? Crap. I'm doomed.

Ok ok ok ...so you fore go your New Year's resolutions...you realize it's only the 13th of January and think basically you're doomed to another year of being unable to commit to changing all the things you don't like about yourself. I say -who cares if eating all organic, doing 1900 situps a day, not eating after 8pm, jobsearching for the next best thing, and not being late anymore haven't been so successful in 2008 . Don't beat yourself up! It's all about 1 day at a time..... and better yet, stop making resolutions of things to CUT and start making resolutions of things to ADD to your life for 2008....1 day at a time.

Yes, now is the day to Re-Resolve who you're going to be this year. Forget your fairweather plans of going to the gym 9 days a week, cutting out pop completely, never tasting the goodness of sour cream again, or giving up cheesecake.......not only is it unrealistic, it's impossible!

Instead
ADD lunges in when you walk to your mailbox.
ADD one extra glass of water a day.
ADD a compliment to someone in your life.
ADD a vision board of your goals to your office or home.
ADD one volunteer hour a month.
ADD a better breakfast to your day.
ADD a timer to your phone at 3pm everyday to remind you to be thankful for your blessings, pray, or meditate.

ADD what is realistic for you 1 day at a time.

Sounds pretty revolutionary huh? I'm sure the Therapist I'll have to ADD in this year will think so. ha!

Cheers and good night,

Tiffany

I pledge allegiance...and I always sample the soup first!

2007-11-15T17:17:00.001-05:00

Some days I get really sick of people trying to "own" me..making me choose just them. Do you ever feel like everyone wants a piece of you, but not because they genuinely care? Many people care, don't get me wrong, but it seems to be all about our societal need to HAVE something -OWN it for ourselves. And everyone wants to HAVE people too...they all want our indivisible allegiance..to choose them over all other choices. This is true in business, life, and relationships...and all I want is to sample the soup first.

Let' me explain...

For starters..I'm not subliminally talking about romance here people -I'm blantantly referring to a multitude of topics with this post-possibly romance, but more importantly the instance that inspired me to blog about this topic today within business. Of course I believe you need reliability in your life and should be loyal to your choices - but why the need to make only ONE thing the object of your loyalty?

Here's a thought - I don't think human nature lends itself to doing one thing over an over forever. I mean, who came up with this idea? Whoever said Variety is the spice of life, is my hero. This topic is as simple as my cat...funny you say, "of course she has a cat"...yes, I have a cat...and I think about if I had to eat the same damn food everyday like he does -BORING !! I'd kick up my kitty dish and drag litter all over the house on my paws in Protest!

So...Let's consider the human brain for a minute...if you do the same things over and over the human brain stops responding the same...therefore to re-stimulate yourself you either have to take up a disorder like OCD (obsessive compulsive disorder) to get excited about repeated activities OR do something different to re-experience the mundane in a new way.

Think about putting on your clothes. I'm sure you put the same arm into your jacket every time..or the same leg into your jeans first as dressing -listen to the phone on the same ear -or brush your teeth with the same hand. TRY THIS: dress first with a different arm or leg - try writing with your other hand - kiss someone new -even parting your hair on the other side. You automatically pay attention and feel what you're doing again- don't you? That's because you're brain has been conditioned feel the same thing over and over and actual stop responding and now that you're changing it your synapses go CRAZY with excitement and you finally THINK about what you're doing again...

I know you're thinking, "Tiffany, you have commitment issues"!

Huh? Commitment issues? Yes, I've been told that before. To be honest, I don't buy it. I think I'm one of the most committed people you'll ever meet. (Except maybe to working out) But I am committed to Goals, friends, companies, and to those I love.

I am extremely loyal and committed, but I am however, overly analytical which thus leads to me seeming indecisive and uncommittal. NO I'M NOT, yes I am..no I'm not, yes, no,yes.....uh........YES - With this traits of being overly analytical and sometimes indecisive comes my belief of "I can have it all! I don't have to choose one thing, I'd like a little bit of everything, why not experience as much as I can." Right?

I know, I know, so where does the soup come in? I'm one of those people who are awful to order with in a restaurant, really, I just don't think things need to be black and white - this or that - choose as is. I want to taste the soup first, make sure it's the way I like it and I might even see if I can substitute buffalo chicken for plain in the wrap...OH WAIT..waiter...can I switch that to onion rings? I'm convinced that Sample Day at Grocery stores, appetizers, buffets and Tapas restaurants were created for people like me!

Therefore, my question is this... how can we truly be expected to pledge allegiance to any ONE thing over and over, day after day and not get bored? We need to sample -We're creatures of variety, our very brain is wired that way!

With that, I've decided I like my life of daily choices ... I like going to different places everyday, not sitting at the same desk (Or any desk for that matter), challenged with new projects and tasks, different cultures (corporate and human) and motivated by new experiences and people..

IN closing, this all isn't to say I don't like consistency, loyalty, or people I can rely on in life and in love. We need that in our lives too -especially in Love. But for me, I've realized I simply like to be someplace new, meeting new people, talking about different topics, trying new food, kissing people when I meet them (like Italians, not naughty), and simply believing it's ok to be a little indecisive if it lets you experience more options.

SO - I Pledge Allegiance to be loyal to EACH ONE of my choices, or guess what.... clearly I wouldn't have been able to decide on choosing it in the first place!

And finally - to all of you out there who think it's all about choosing ONE thing to fit the norm...
MORAL OF THIS STORY IS:...I suggest you sample the soup first, then I don't have to listen to you complain when you don't like it's "consistency".

Now, what do I want for dinner? ...I guess I'll try the soup,

Tiffany

A "Story" with the lesson of Mediocrity

2007-11-09T16:20:00.001-05:00

I was able to shadow and work with a very talented photojournalist the other day doing a story on a very talented ventriloquist and guitarist. As I was taking notes and following the process of getting a story of someone to come to life...I thought of the questions he asked his interviewee and the lessons he was teaching me quietly while doing his job.

Some of those statements have stayed with me as not only questions to get a great interview for a story - but also questions and thoughts we should ask ourselves and to put into perspective how blessed we are or if we're on the right path.

If you have forgotten your purpose or goals in life, many of these questions and "deep thought" statements will remind you.....try answering them for yourself and thinking about if you live your life this way everyday....

- Tell me a time when you received a standing ovation?
- I'm here today to help you look your best.
- When you were a little kid - what did you tell your teachers you wanted to be?
- Is what you do original?
- Is there a message you hope to leave people with?
- What has been one of your most rewarding conversations...has someone told you ever "because of you I didn't commit suicide" or "you've changed my life because..."
- Have you ever let a dummy make you look bad?
- What are your goals?
- What don't I know about you that I should?

AND THE STATEMENT OF THE DAY
"If you settle for mediocrity in little things, you'll settle for mediocrity in the big things" - John Gross, Photojournalist

Tifftionary Meaning: Mediocrity - knowing you haven't exhausted your talents. The belief you're capable of doing more and you haven't done it. Not serving yourself or others to your fullest potential.

So I have to say thank you to John for not only teaching me more about how to create a story that is news worthy - but one that is also truthful, interesting, beautiful and inspirational.

Tiffany

Balcony Girl

2007-08-22T13:52:00.001-04:00

I heart Balconies.

I think they are my cityscape equivalent to the country or college house porch. Sit out there, have a beer, maybe paint, read a book, spy on the people below. Oh, how fun that sounds. But in this world of luxury apartments is it too much to ask for an affordable apartment with a balcony? Apparently so.

That's really all I have to say about that today.

Hour Glass Fingers

2007-08-20T19:58:00.001-04:00

I am generally a very positive and motivated person. I truly believe in purpose, I believe in God, and I believe in the goodness of people paying it forward.

But there are days....days when everything I thought I knew I've watched slip through my hands right in front of my own eyes. I'm going to call it a moment of having Hour Glass Fingers. Once we tip over the glass and it's set in motion all we can do is watch it slip through time and feel the hopelessness of seeing it disappear before you can hardly get a look at each grain of sand.

Recently this happened to me. I was feeling so confident and so "on Purpose". I stared what I thought was going to be the greatest moment of my life directly in the face...one I felt could change my life forever. I took a deep breath ....and with my head high and shoulders back, I gave it all I had believing wholeheartedly in it. I smiled as I looked it square in the face.....then....Smack...think again....it back-handed me across the cheek.

The sand started spilling everywhere and as I desperately tried to grab what had fallen and sift it into the mix still on top I found myself grasping at the silent air of an ended opportunity. A passing moment in the the diary of my life with a lifeless pile of sand on the floor. I just sat and stared at it. I stared at it for 8 days. Really...Eight L--o---n---g days. I didn't know what else to do. It was this beautiful mess of my dreams spilled on the floor and all I could was stare at it and cry, completely hopeless for 8 ridiculous days.

So now what? Do I sweep it up? Did I just waste 8 whole days sulking? No...they weren't wasted. I needed to just feel the loss this time. So often I, like so many of us, like to just sweep the sand under the kitchen rug and pretend it didn't spill in the first place and move on...marching forward with a fractured smile. When in reality the damn sand is still under the rug isn't it? Imagine how that builds up over time, sweeping and moving on, sweeping and moving on...then it probably festers with ants. I've had ants before and it's absolutely no fun!

So, staring at it this time, seeing each grain of my dream lifeless on the floor gave me the time to feel what it meant to me. I realized that taking risks and committing to a goal means: realizing it's ok to be vulnerable. Vulnerability is inherent in admitting you want something and the belief that it was worth working toward, even if it means risking the pain of losing it before you know it's success.

So...after 192 hours, yes 8 tumultuous days of complete and utter self-pity, I scooped it up and saved it. I knew it wouldn't serve me to keep it under the rug and why throw it away when I wanted it so badly? Ultimately, I kept it because I was grateful it brought me to this place of realization of what I really wanted. I was grateful it made achieving that dream so much sweeter when it finally happens and it's made me that much more determined and full of perseverance to get there.

In conclusion, I had to sweep up the sand and get it off of the floor because I know I'm going to need a clean floor to DANCE on when my victory song is finally played. Oh how sweet that dance will be!

Would you like a tissue? You have a blogger.

2007-04-09T11:57:00.001-04:00

I've often said I feel like life is one big cartoon (Garfield perhaps)? Where I look at people, yes and animals, and see the bubble over them that says what they are really thinking. It's quite funny - I tend to see comedy in most everything.

For example - this blog. Isn't it funny that we all seem to become a columnist when we get a blog...like people are really reading it. I don't kid myself that people are too interested in reading random blogs. So why do we do it? For ourselves? Hmmm...maybe it's an online journal? No...not personal enough. Just enough of our thoughts that we're willing to let the rest of the world read...

Yes, for me....I've decided that a blog allows me to say the things I want to tell the random person sitting next to me because they would just maybe listen. But truth be told, you usually don't tell that random person, because they may just tell you to get lost if you're not paying them to listen. I guess that's what psychologists are for. I knew I should have used that psychology degree...

I'll stick with a blog for now.....

Very Impressive Person

2007-03-30T13:46:00.001-04:00

He Greets everyone with a smile
And a hardy handshake;
And makes you feel he means it
When he says he's glad to meet you
And he makes you glad you met him.

He walks with a sprightly step
And Speaks with a laugh in his voice
He listens with interest
And speaks with conviction,
And makes you feel you've known him all of your life.

He doesn't seem to try to impress,
Yet he's most impressive.
He never tries pressing to persuade,
Yet you always come away convinced.
He's the kind of guy we enjoy being around
Because he is what we all secretly would like to be-
Someone who enjoys being himself.

-Coach Meyer / Northern U Basketball

BLOGGER... Excuse you

2007-03-20T15:54:00.001-04:00

Wow---I've joined the 21st century - I have a blog! This is a place to speak my mind on issues, events, and happenings in my life that are changing who I am every day I exist.

A little about me:

I above all things believe in God. I know my life has a purpose and I live with those intentions every day. I am always open to changes and forks in my plans as I know I am not always in charge. I do however think we can determine much of our future by our energy and our thoughts. I know everyone and their mother has read the book, "The Secret" by now, but I believe we are creators of our own universe in so many ways and that with God's free will we are creating things we believe into existence everyday. I've seen this first hand in my own life and continue to believe in these gifts we've been given on earth.

I love orange juice--and cheese. Havarti is probably my favorite cheese in the universe. mmm.

I do comedy - I act - I volunteer - I have a cat and I love my family.

Tune in for thoughts and updates as life unfolds.

Cheers!

Tiff